After having shoes thrown at him, Bush turned to Maliki and said: "This means war!"
Maliki responded, "You have already invaded my country. This is your victory speech."
Bush looked around and said "well, in that case, we ain't leavin!"
Tuesday, December 16, 2008
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
So long, Red States – It's Been Fun
Dear Red States:
So long, Red States – It's Been Fun
We're leaving. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of United Blue States of America. To sum up: You get Texas, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Georgia, W. Virginia, Kentucky, Tennessee, Mississippi, Lousiana, Idaho, Montana, and the Dakotas. We get Hawaii, California, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the Eastern Seaboard from Maine to North Carolina, and Florida. You get Utah and Arizona, we get New Mexico and Colorado. You get most of Nebraska, but we get Omeha and Warren Buffett. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty, New York's Museum of Natural History, and the Smithsonian. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get Dell and WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to pay your fair share. We get Hawaii. You get Alaska. You get Sarah Palin and Brittney Spears. We get the Dixie Chicks – they're moving to Virginia – Cyndie Lauper, Blondie, and Sheryl Crow. We also get Jimmy Buffet, the remaining members of the Grateful Dead, Brian Wilson, Willie Nelson, Bob Dylan, Paul Simon, and, of course, Bruce Springsteen.
Since he moved to New York with Hillary, we get Bill Clinton. And we want Al Gore. You can have Rudy Guiliani.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms. Please be aware that we are pro-choice and anti-war; we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire. With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines, 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Ted Haggert, Hannity and Combs, Bill O'Reilly, Ann Coulter, the whole Fox News team, and Bob Jones University. We get Comedy Central, HBO, Hollywood and Saturday Night Live.
Additionally, 38 percent of you believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale then regurgitated, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is a theory but creationism is a science, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then us.
We're taking the wine and the good weed. You can have moonshine and that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.
Peace out and Hasta La Vista, Baby
** This is hysterical. However, I did not write it. **
So long, Red States – It's Been Fun
We're leaving. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of United Blue States of America. To sum up: You get Texas, Oklahoma, South Carolina, Georgia, W. Virginia, Kentucky, Tennessee, Mississippi, Lousiana, Idaho, Montana, and the Dakotas. We get Hawaii, California, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and the Eastern Seaboard from Maine to North Carolina, and Florida. You get Utah and Arizona, we get New Mexico and Colorado. You get most of Nebraska, but we get Omeha and Warren Buffett. We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty, New York's Museum of Natural History, and the Smithsonian. You get Dollywood. We get Intel and Microsoft. You get Dell and WorldCom. We get Harvard. You get Ole' Miss. We get 85 percent of America's venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama. We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to pay your fair share. We get Hawaii. You get Alaska. You get Sarah Palin and Brittney Spears. We get the Dixie Chicks – they're moving to Virginia – Cyndie Lauper, Blondie, and Sheryl Crow. We also get Jimmy Buffet, the remaining members of the Grateful Dead, Brian Wilson, Willie Nelson, Bob Dylan, Paul Simon, and, of course, Bruce Springsteen.
Since he moved to New York with Hillary, we get Bill Clinton. And we want Al Gore. You can have Rudy Guiliani.
Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22 percent lower than the Christian Coalition's, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms. Please be aware that we are pro-choice and anti-war; we're going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they're apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don't care if you don't show pictures of their children's caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq, and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we're not willing to spend our resources in Bush's Quagmire. With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80 percent of the country's fresh water, more than 90 percent of the pineapple and lettuce, 92 percent of the nation's fresh fruit, 95 percent of America's quality wines, 90 percent of all cheese, 90 percent of the high tech industry, most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT. With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88 percent of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92 percent of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100 percent of the tornadoes, 90 percent of the hurricanes, 99 percent of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100 percent of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Ted Haggert, Hannity and Combs, Bill O'Reilly, Ann Coulter, the whole Fox News team, and Bob Jones University. We get Comedy Central, HBO, Hollywood and Saturday Night Live.
Additionally, 38 percent of you believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale then regurgitated, 62 percent believe life is sacred unless we're discussing the death penalty or gun laws, 44 percent say that evolution is a theory but creationism is a science, 53 percent that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61 percent of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then us.
We're taking the wine and the good weed. You can have moonshine and that dirt weed they grow in Mexico.
Peace out and Hasta La Vista, Baby
** This is hysterical. However, I did not write it. **
Monday, November 10, 2008
A Place for Caribou Barbie in the Obama Administration
I think Obama should create a position for Sarah 'Caribou Barbie' Palin in his Administration. She may not be good on energy policy, or foreign policy, and she can't tell a professor from a terrorist (altho when you think about it, with their emphasis on reading books and thinking, intellectuals really are subversive). She doesn't read newspapers, and she doesn't know of any Supreme Court decisions she would change ... but she is good at shopping, and spending Republican campaign funds. And in doing so she does us proud (and helps the Democrats). In her own inimitable way she helped elect Barack. So I think Obama should appoint her "Shopper-in-chief" authorized to spend RNC money on clothes, shoes, snowmobiles, make-up. Whatever. In addition to spending RNC money in ways that help Democrats, if she continues to spend $150,000 per month she will do more than any one person, with the possible exception of Paris Hilton, to jump-start the economy.
Saturday, November 8, 2008
Now the work begins!
President Elect Obama, Congratulations on your victory, on our victories.
Now the work begins. The first order of business is to reverse the policies that have proven so disastrous, even as President Bush rushes to cement his legacy by changing rules and regulations on the environment, civil liberties, abortion rights, et cetera, as clearly described by The New York Times on Nov. 4
So Little Time, So Much Damage, Copyright, 2008, The New York Times.
While Americans eagerly vote for the next president, here’s a sobering reminder: As of Tuesday, George W. Bush still has 77 days left in the White House — and he’s not wasting a minute.
President Bush’s aides have been scrambling to change rules and regulations on the environment, civil liberties and abortion rights, among others — few for the good. Most presidents put on a last-minute policy stamp, but in Mr. Bush’s case it is more like a wrecking ball. We fear it could take months, or years, for the next president to identify and then undo all of the damage.
Here is a look — by no means comprehensive — at some of Mr. Bush’s recent parting gifts and those we fear are yet to come.
CIVIL LIBERTIES We don’t know all of the ways that the administration has violated Americans’ rights in the name of fighting terrorism. Last month, Attorney General Michael Mukasey rushed out new guidelines for the F.B.I. that permit agents to use chillingly intrusive techniques to collect information on Americans even where there is no evidence of wrongdoing.
Agents will be allowed to use informants to infiltrate lawful groups, engage in prolonged physical surveillance and lie about their identity while questioning a subject’s neighbors, relatives, co-workers and friends. The changes also give the F.B.I. — which has a long history of spying on civil rights groups and others — expanded latitude to use these techniques on people identified by racial, ethnic and religious background.
The administration showed further disdain for Americans’ privacy rights and for Congress’s power by making clear that it will ignore a provision in the legislation that established the Department of Homeland Security. The law requires the department’s privacy officer to account annually for any activity that could affect Americans’ privacy — and clearly stipulates that the report cannot be edited by any other officials at the department or the White House.
The Justice Department’s Office of Legal Counsel has now released a memo asserting that the law “does not prohibit” officials from homeland security or the White House from reviewing the report. The memo then argues that since the law allows the officials to review the report, it would be unconstitutional to stop them from changing it. George Orwell couldn’t have done better.
THE ENVIRONMENT The administration has been especially busy weakening regulations that promote clean air and clean water and protect endangered species.
Mr. Bush, or more to the point, Vice President Dick Cheney, came to office determined to dismantle Bill Clinton’s environmental legacy, undo decades of environmental law and keep their friends in industry happy. They have had less success than we feared, but only because of the determined opposition of environmental groups, courageous members of Congress and protests from citizens. But the White House keeps trying.
Mr. Bush’s secretary of the interior, Dirk Kempthorne, has recently carved out significant exceptions to regulations requiring expert scientific review of any federal project that might harm endangered or threatened species (one consequence will be to relieve the agency of the need to assess the impact of global warming on at-risk species). The department also is rushing to remove the gray wolf from the endangered species list — again. The wolves were re-listed after a federal judge ruled the government had not lived up to its own recovery plan.
In coming weeks, we expect the Environmental Protection Agency to issue a final rule that would weaken a program created by the Clean Air Act, which requires utilities to install modern pollution controls when they upgrade their plants to produce more power. The agency is also expected to issue a final rule that would make it easier for coal-fired power plants to locate near national parks in defiance of longstanding Congressional mandates to protect air quality in areas of special natural or recreational value.
Interior also is awaiting E.P.A.’s concurrence on a proposal that would make it easier for mining companies to dump toxic mine wastes in valleys and streams.
And while no rules changes are at issue, the interior department also has been rushing to open up millions of acres of pristine federal land to oil and gas exploration. We fear that, in coming weeks, Mr. Kempthorne will open up even more acreage to the commercial development of oil shale, a hugely expensive and environmentally risky process that even the oil companies seem in no hurry to begin. He should not.
ABORTION RIGHTS Soon after the election, Michael Leavitt, the secretary of health and human services, is expected to issue new regulations aimed at further limiting women’s access to abortion, contraceptives and information about their reproductive health care options.
Existing law allows doctors and nurses to refuse to participate in an abortion. These changes would extend the so-called right to refuse to a wide range of health care workers and activities including abortion referrals, unbiased counseling and provision of birth control pills or emergency contraception, even for rape victims.
The administration has taken other disturbing steps in recent weeks. In late September, the I.R.S. restored tax breaks for banks that take big losses on bad loans inherited through acquisitions. Now we learn that JPMorgan Chase and others are planning to use their bailout funds for mergers and acquisitions, transactions that will be greatly enhanced by the new tax subsidy.
One last-minute change Mr. Bush won’t be making: He apparently has decided not to shut down the prison in Guantánamo Bay, Cuba — the most shameful symbol of his administration’s disdain for the rule of law.
Mr. Bush has said it should be closed, and his secretary of state, Condoleezza Rice, and his secretary of defense, Robert Gates, pushed for it. Proposals were prepared, including a plan for sending the real bad guys to other countries for trial. But Mr. Cheney objected, and the president has refused even to review the memos. He will hand this mess off to his successor.
We suppose there is some good news in all of this. While Mr. Bush leaves office on Jan. 20, 2009, he has only until Nov. 20 to issue “economically significant” rule changes and until Dec. 20 to issue other changes. Anything after that is merely a draft and can be easily withdrawn by the next president.
Unfortunately, the White House is well aware of those deadlines.
Now the work begins. The first order of business is to reverse the policies that have proven so disastrous, even as President Bush rushes to cement his legacy by changing rules and regulations on the environment, civil liberties, abortion rights, et cetera, as clearly described by The New York Times on Nov. 4
So Little Time, So Much Damage, Copyright, 2008, The New York Times.
While Americans eagerly vote for the next president, here’s a sobering reminder: As of Tuesday, George W. Bush still has 77 days left in the White House — and he’s not wasting a minute.
President Bush’s aides have been scrambling to change rules and regulations on the environment, civil liberties and abortion rights, among others — few for the good. Most presidents put on a last-minute policy stamp, but in Mr. Bush’s case it is more like a wrecking ball. We fear it could take months, or years, for the next president to identify and then undo all of the damage.
Here is a look — by no means comprehensive — at some of Mr. Bush’s recent parting gifts and those we fear are yet to come.
CIVIL LIBERTIES We don’t know all of the ways that the administration has violated Americans’ rights in the name of fighting terrorism. Last month, Attorney General Michael Mukasey rushed out new guidelines for the F.B.I. that permit agents to use chillingly intrusive techniques to collect information on Americans even where there is no evidence of wrongdoing.
Agents will be allowed to use informants to infiltrate lawful groups, engage in prolonged physical surveillance and lie about their identity while questioning a subject’s neighbors, relatives, co-workers and friends. The changes also give the F.B.I. — which has a long history of spying on civil rights groups and others — expanded latitude to use these techniques on people identified by racial, ethnic and religious background.
The administration showed further disdain for Americans’ privacy rights and for Congress’s power by making clear that it will ignore a provision in the legislation that established the Department of Homeland Security. The law requires the department’s privacy officer to account annually for any activity that could affect Americans’ privacy — and clearly stipulates that the report cannot be edited by any other officials at the department or the White House.
The Justice Department’s Office of Legal Counsel has now released a memo asserting that the law “does not prohibit” officials from homeland security or the White House from reviewing the report. The memo then argues that since the law allows the officials to review the report, it would be unconstitutional to stop them from changing it. George Orwell couldn’t have done better.
THE ENVIRONMENT The administration has been especially busy weakening regulations that promote clean air and clean water and protect endangered species.
Mr. Bush, or more to the point, Vice President Dick Cheney, came to office determined to dismantle Bill Clinton’s environmental legacy, undo decades of environmental law and keep their friends in industry happy. They have had less success than we feared, but only because of the determined opposition of environmental groups, courageous members of Congress and protests from citizens. But the White House keeps trying.
Mr. Bush’s secretary of the interior, Dirk Kempthorne, has recently carved out significant exceptions to regulations requiring expert scientific review of any federal project that might harm endangered or threatened species (one consequence will be to relieve the agency of the need to assess the impact of global warming on at-risk species). The department also is rushing to remove the gray wolf from the endangered species list — again. The wolves were re-listed after a federal judge ruled the government had not lived up to its own recovery plan.
In coming weeks, we expect the Environmental Protection Agency to issue a final rule that would weaken a program created by the Clean Air Act, which requires utilities to install modern pollution controls when they upgrade their plants to produce more power. The agency is also expected to issue a final rule that would make it easier for coal-fired power plants to locate near national parks in defiance of longstanding Congressional mandates to protect air quality in areas of special natural or recreational value.
Interior also is awaiting E.P.A.’s concurrence on a proposal that would make it easier for mining companies to dump toxic mine wastes in valleys and streams.
And while no rules changes are at issue, the interior department also has been rushing to open up millions of acres of pristine federal land to oil and gas exploration. We fear that, in coming weeks, Mr. Kempthorne will open up even more acreage to the commercial development of oil shale, a hugely expensive and environmentally risky process that even the oil companies seem in no hurry to begin. He should not.
ABORTION RIGHTS Soon after the election, Michael Leavitt, the secretary of health and human services, is expected to issue new regulations aimed at further limiting women’s access to abortion, contraceptives and information about their reproductive health care options.
Existing law allows doctors and nurses to refuse to participate in an abortion. These changes would extend the so-called right to refuse to a wide range of health care workers and activities including abortion referrals, unbiased counseling and provision of birth control pills or emergency contraception, even for rape victims.
The administration has taken other disturbing steps in recent weeks. In late September, the I.R.S. restored tax breaks for banks that take big losses on bad loans inherited through acquisitions. Now we learn that JPMorgan Chase and others are planning to use their bailout funds for mergers and acquisitions, transactions that will be greatly enhanced by the new tax subsidy.
One last-minute change Mr. Bush won’t be making: He apparently has decided not to shut down the prison in Guantánamo Bay, Cuba — the most shameful symbol of his administration’s disdain for the rule of law.
Mr. Bush has said it should be closed, and his secretary of state, Condoleezza Rice, and his secretary of defense, Robert Gates, pushed for it. Proposals were prepared, including a plan for sending the real bad guys to other countries for trial. But Mr. Cheney objected, and the president has refused even to review the memos. He will hand this mess off to his successor.
We suppose there is some good news in all of this. While Mr. Bush leaves office on Jan. 20, 2009, he has only until Nov. 20 to issue “economically significant” rule changes and until Dec. 20 to issue other changes. Anything after that is merely a draft and can be easily withdrawn by the next president.
Unfortunately, the White House is well aware of those deadlines.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Landslide - Liberal Mandate
Obama and FDR - I have been saying that we need an FDR, and that Obama has the resolve and the intelligence to be as good a President as FDR. Franklin Delano Roosevelt won by landslides in '32 and '36. Herbert Hoover believed in "rugged individualism" and, in '32, that the philanthropy of the wealthy would solve the nation's economic problems. He did not pull the U. S. out of the Depression. FDR did, and did it, in part, by creating the safety net and regulatory infrastructure that George W. Bush, and Ronald Reagan have dismantled.
McCain has called Obama "a socialist." He has also tried to equate Obama with Hoover. If this is correct, then Obama is a "free market socialist," a "capitalist socialist." But McCain was wrong on both counts. And it is John McCain whose ideals echo the failed policies of Hoover, along with his predecessors Warren G. Harding, and Calvin Coolidge, and their contemporaries, George W. Bush, Phil Gramm, Dick Cheney.
Describing the Republican Administrations of Harding, Coolidge and Hoover, FDR said "the Nation looked to the government, and the government looked away" and "government by organized mob." This is what we have seen again during the last 8 years; both abroad and at home. In the war in Iraq and in the response to Katrina, in firing prosecutors, in wiretapping Americans, and in the "signing statements, and executive orders with which George W. Bush and Richard B. Cheney have governed by fiat. And they have not governed well. Maybe they meant well, but that's not good enough.
We need effective government. As Lincoln said, "government of the people, by the people, and for the people."
McCain has called Obama "a socialist." He has also tried to equate Obama with Hoover. If this is correct, then Obama is a "free market socialist," a "capitalist socialist." But McCain was wrong on both counts. And it is John McCain whose ideals echo the failed policies of Hoover, along with his predecessors Warren G. Harding, and Calvin Coolidge, and their contemporaries, George W. Bush, Phil Gramm, Dick Cheney.
Describing the Republican Administrations of Harding, Coolidge and Hoover, FDR said "the Nation looked to the government, and the government looked away" and "government by organized mob." This is what we have seen again during the last 8 years; both abroad and at home. In the war in Iraq and in the response to Katrina, in firing prosecutors, in wiretapping Americans, and in the "signing statements, and executive orders with which George W. Bush and Richard B. Cheney have governed by fiat. And they have not governed well. Maybe they meant well, but that's not good enough.
We need effective government. As Lincoln said, "government of the people, by the people, and for the people."
Tuesday, November 4, 2008
L is for Landslide!
New York. Election Day, 2008. 6:00 PM.
In Missouri 100,000 people went to see Barack. In Ohio last week 6,000 went to see McCain, and 4,000 were children taken out of school and bussed in. So it doesn't look to me that there are people waiting on line for 2 or 3 hours to vote for John McCain and Sarah Palin.
In Missouri 100,000 people went to see Barack. In Ohio last week 6,000 went to see McCain, and 4,000 were children taken out of school and bussed in. So it doesn't look to me that there are people waiting on line for 2 or 3 hours to vote for John McCain and Sarah Palin.
Sunday, November 2, 2008
Obama, McCain, and Management
Two sitting Senators have been elected to the Presidency: Warren G. Harding and John F. Kennedy. Harding was a disaster, one of the worst, but not in Bush's league. Kennedy was one of the best. But it's not an important question today because neither McCain nor Obama has "executive" experience.
And Bush has a MBA, from Harvard, and we know what a great President he was.
So what has Obama managed? He managed to graduate at the top of his class at Harvard law, managed Harvard Law Review, managed to understand the U. S. Constitution well enough to teach it in law school. He has managed to write two very well written books, managed to win election to the U. S. Senate, and has thus far managed a very well run Presidential campaign.
And McCain? He has managed to crash 3 U S Navy airplanes, managed to get 2 more shot out from under him. He managed to survive each crash. And he managed to stay in the Navy, despite these mishaps, thanks I guess, to his father and grandfather. He managed to marry a very pretty woman, and managed to divorce her after she had been in an automobile accident. Then he managed to run around with several other women before marrying another very pretty one - who was worth about $100 million because her father managed to go to college on the GI Bill after WW II, and then use his education and his talents to become very successful in business. McCain also managed to spend about 25 years in the Senate, managed to be censured by the Senate for ethics violations having to do with receiving very large sums of money by Charles Keating, a crooked banker. He managed not to notice when his wife became addicted to pain killers. He managed to pick one of the least qualified people for his running mate, and has managed one of the sleaziest presidential campaigns I remember.
And Bush has a MBA, from Harvard, and we know what a great President he was.
So what has Obama managed? He managed to graduate at the top of his class at Harvard law, managed Harvard Law Review, managed to understand the U. S. Constitution well enough to teach it in law school. He has managed to write two very well written books, managed to win election to the U. S. Senate, and has thus far managed a very well run Presidential campaign.
And McCain? He has managed to crash 3 U S Navy airplanes, managed to get 2 more shot out from under him. He managed to survive each crash. And he managed to stay in the Navy, despite these mishaps, thanks I guess, to his father and grandfather. He managed to marry a very pretty woman, and managed to divorce her after she had been in an automobile accident. Then he managed to run around with several other women before marrying another very pretty one - who was worth about $100 million because her father managed to go to college on the GI Bill after WW II, and then use his education and his talents to become very successful in business. McCain also managed to spend about 25 years in the Senate, managed to be censured by the Senate for ethics violations having to do with receiving very large sums of money by Charles Keating, a crooked banker. He managed not to notice when his wife became addicted to pain killers. He managed to pick one of the least qualified people for his running mate, and has managed one of the sleaziest presidential campaigns I remember.
Thursday, October 30, 2008
The October Surprise Awards - Academy Awards for Political Theatrics
Welcome to the Academy for Political Theatrics and welcome to the October Surprise Awards. The nominees are: Ashley Todd, Schlesselman and Cowart, General Colin Powell, and Senator Ted Stevens.
Our first nominee is Ashley Todd, a young McCain staffer from Texas. Ms. Todd, a paid Organizer for the College Republicans, was on the ground in Pittsburgh, PA. Pittsburgh is not known for the racial tensions McCain and Palin so desperately want to exploit. So what did Ashley do? She faked a racial incident. Ashley drew a letter "B" on her cheek, then claimed to have been assaulted by "a large angry man." The police suspected a hoax because the "B" was drawn backwards, as if in a mirror, and the scratches were very light; not likely the work of a "large angry man." Ms. Todd, also known as the Texas Tawana, in honor of her role model, Tawana Brawley, admitted that the attack was a hoax. While the desperation in the McCain Campaign is surprising, while their win at all costs mindset bodes ill for efforts to end the war in Iraq, the utter disdain with which the public, the mainstream media, and even Fox News has treated Ms Todd restores our faith in society. Ms. Todd could not be reached for comment. However we are confident that a member of our team, a 6 foot 3 inch former basketball player will be able to pin her down.
The second nominees are Paul Schlesselman and Daniel Cowart, the neo-Nazis who allegedly planned to kill Senator Obama and 88 African Americans. Fortunately, they were arrested before they could kill anyone. An affidavit from a federal agent says they devised a plot to kill 88 people — shooting 74 and beheading 14. As far as we know, the McCain campaign is not connected to these two alleged psychopaths. However, the rhetoric emanating from the McCain campaign, beginning with the Republican Convention in August, can only be described as disrespectful and incendiary. Congressman Lewis was right. The genie is out of the bottle.
The next nominee is Colin Powell, the retired General and former Secretary of State who joined 50 or 60 prominent conservative Republicans in endorsing Senator Obama for President. However, it must be noted that for a Conservative to act in a conservative manner and exercise good judgment is not a surprise. It's not common these days, but it's not a surprise.
The final nominee in the "October Surprise" competition is Alaska Senator Ted Stevens. Stevens, a convicted felon, has refused calls from Senator McCain to quit his campaign "for the good of the G.O.P."
And the Winner is: "Uncle Ted" Stevens of Alaska. Convicted for corruption, Stevens is awaiting sentencing and continuing his campaign. McCain has urged him to drop out of the race, and Palin - herself found guilty of abuse of power - has also urged him to drop out of the race. But Stevens soldiers on. Will the President issue a pardon? Will Alaskans send him back to Congress? Will his conviction give Democrat Mark Begich a seat in the United States Senate? Will it help Obama become President? We don't know - that's why it's "The October Surprise." We will know soon. But we know this today: when Republicans say "My friends, I stand on my convictions." we don't know whether they are referring to their principles, or to their convictions for high crimes and misdemeanors.
* This is a work of satire. Any resemblance to the facts is tragic.
Our first nominee is Ashley Todd, a young McCain staffer from Texas. Ms. Todd, a paid Organizer for the College Republicans, was on the ground in Pittsburgh, PA. Pittsburgh is not known for the racial tensions McCain and Palin so desperately want to exploit. So what did Ashley do? She faked a racial incident. Ashley drew a letter "B" on her cheek, then claimed to have been assaulted by "a large angry man." The police suspected a hoax because the "B" was drawn backwards, as if in a mirror, and the scratches were very light; not likely the work of a "large angry man." Ms. Todd, also known as the Texas Tawana, in honor of her role model, Tawana Brawley, admitted that the attack was a hoax. While the desperation in the McCain Campaign is surprising, while their win at all costs mindset bodes ill for efforts to end the war in Iraq, the utter disdain with which the public, the mainstream media, and even Fox News has treated Ms Todd restores our faith in society. Ms. Todd could not be reached for comment. However we are confident that a member of our team, a 6 foot 3 inch former basketball player will be able to pin her down.
The second nominees are Paul Schlesselman and Daniel Cowart, the neo-Nazis who allegedly planned to kill Senator Obama and 88 African Americans. Fortunately, they were arrested before they could kill anyone. An affidavit from a federal agent says they devised a plot to kill 88 people — shooting 74 and beheading 14. As far as we know, the McCain campaign is not connected to these two alleged psychopaths. However, the rhetoric emanating from the McCain campaign, beginning with the Republican Convention in August, can only be described as disrespectful and incendiary. Congressman Lewis was right. The genie is out of the bottle.
The next nominee is Colin Powell, the retired General and former Secretary of State who joined 50 or 60 prominent conservative Republicans in endorsing Senator Obama for President. However, it must be noted that for a Conservative to act in a conservative manner and exercise good judgment is not a surprise. It's not common these days, but it's not a surprise.
The final nominee in the "October Surprise" competition is Alaska Senator Ted Stevens. Stevens, a convicted felon, has refused calls from Senator McCain to quit his campaign "for the good of the G.O.P."
And the Winner is: "Uncle Ted" Stevens of Alaska. Convicted for corruption, Stevens is awaiting sentencing and continuing his campaign. McCain has urged him to drop out of the race, and Palin - herself found guilty of abuse of power - has also urged him to drop out of the race. But Stevens soldiers on. Will the President issue a pardon? Will Alaskans send him back to Congress? Will his conviction give Democrat Mark Begich a seat in the United States Senate? Will it help Obama become President? We don't know - that's why it's "The October Surprise." We will know soon. But we know this today: when Republicans say "My friends, I stand on my convictions." we don't know whether they are referring to their principles, or to their convictions for high crimes and misdemeanors.
* This is a work of satire. Any resemblance to the facts is tragic.
Friday, October 24, 2008
Palin and McCain Argue Over Her Wardrobe
RNC HQ, the Campaign Trail. Oct. 24, 2008. An angry John McCain lit into Sarah Palin about her wardrobe.
Our sources have provided a transcript of their conversation.
"How could you possibly spend $150,000 on clothes in two months?" McCain asked Palin. "What did you buy? $150,000 in two months? That's more than I've spent clothes in my entire life, and I'm 72 years old. It's almost as much as my wife makes in a week, or a month, or something like that. It's what Joe the plumber will make in two, maybe three years. What were you thinking?"
"C'mon McCain," Palin said, "I'm helping the economy. And it's not your money. And besides, you don't let me talk to the press. What else am I supposed to do?"
"Well you could read the Constitution, for Chris-sakes. And Jeez Palin, $150,000 on clothes? It's more than Paris Hilton spends. It's even more than Imelda Marcos spent on shoes!"
"I know Paris. She's sweet. She looked real good in that bathing suit in the campaign ad she did. I should take her wolf hunting from my helicopter. Who is Imelda Marcos? Is she a Cuban? Did I meet her in Miami?"
"How can you not know Imelda Marcos?" McCain yelled. "I made you the Vice President candidate. I can break you. You're fired."
Palin was as cool as Obama: "The election is 11 days from today. You're gonna lose without my church ladies, my hockey moms and all those Joe Sixpacks who love me. Larry Flynt, the magazine publisher, is making a movie about me, "Nailin' Pailin' or somethin'. Tina-Fay Somebody, that girl from "Saturday Night Live" and "30 Rocks" loves to play me - I'm the best thing that happened to her in her whole career. And you can't say 'You're fired.' You're not Donald Trump."
Our sources have provided a transcript of their conversation.
"How could you possibly spend $150,000 on clothes in two months?" McCain asked Palin. "What did you buy? $150,000 in two months? That's more than I've spent clothes in my entire life, and I'm 72 years old. It's almost as much as my wife makes in a week, or a month, or something like that. It's what Joe the plumber will make in two, maybe three years. What were you thinking?"
"C'mon McCain," Palin said, "I'm helping the economy. And it's not your money. And besides, you don't let me talk to the press. What else am I supposed to do?"
"Well you could read the Constitution, for Chris-sakes. And Jeez Palin, $150,000 on clothes? It's more than Paris Hilton spends. It's even more than Imelda Marcos spent on shoes!"
"I know Paris. She's sweet. She looked real good in that bathing suit in the campaign ad she did. I should take her wolf hunting from my helicopter. Who is Imelda Marcos? Is she a Cuban? Did I meet her in Miami?"
"How can you not know Imelda Marcos?" McCain yelled. "I made you the Vice President candidate. I can break you. You're fired."
Palin was as cool as Obama: "The election is 11 days from today. You're gonna lose without my church ladies, my hockey moms and all those Joe Sixpacks who love me. Larry Flynt, the magazine publisher, is making a movie about me, "Nailin' Pailin' or somethin'. Tina-Fay Somebody, that girl from "Saturday Night Live" and "30 Rocks" loves to play me - I'm the best thing that happened to her in her whole career. And you can't say 'You're fired.' You're not Donald Trump."
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
When I Look At Palin All I See Are Boobs
George W Bush and John "W" McCain
How do you feel about McCain's Decision to put Sarah Palin a heartbeat away from the Presidency?
It's cynical.
It's opportunistic.
It's demeaning to women.
Karl Rove would be proud - and so would Stalin.
What does it say about McCain?
He's a Maverick.
He's an unabashed misygonist.
Hefner would be proud.
He has no respect for women.
He has no respect for the voters.
He has no respect for himself.
I don't care about McCain. Obama will be good for the country - my country - and the world - my planet.
How do you feel about McCain's Decision to put Sarah Palin a heartbeat away from the Presidency?
It's cynical.
It's opportunistic.
It's demeaning to women.
Karl Rove would be proud - and so would Stalin.
What does it say about McCain?
He's a Maverick.
He's an unabashed misygonist.
Hefner would be proud.
He has no respect for women.
He has no respect for the voters.
He has no respect for himself.
I don't care about McCain. Obama will be good for the country - my country - and the world - my planet.
Saturday, September 6, 2008
McCain's Plans for Young America
McCain has a three Point Plan for American Youth:
1) Draft them.
The Bush Administration is planning to end the war in Iraq in 2012, which means they will continue the war until 2012. McCain is talking about a "pre-emptive" war with Iran. You remember his mangling of the Beach Boys "Barbra Ann" into "Bomb, bomb, bomb Iran." The "tribute to Sept 11" said "the first attack came from Iran" and I think refered to the hostage situation of '79.
2) Gut their veterans benefits.
McCain's G. I. bill is career service in the military.
3) Destroy the planet.
Drill, Baby, Drill" the McSame energy plan is coal, oil, and nuclear. Gore, who really won the popular vote in 2000, says we should be 100% solar and wind in 10 years. "Clean and green by 2018!" He's right. It would cost a lot of money - about $950 billion - but that's less than the war in Iraq, and probably less than we will pay for oil over the next 10.
This is how he will make the wounded vets and the parents, children, and siblings of soldiers who gave their all feel better.
To paraphrase the credit card commercial, what's in your arsenal?
1) Draft them.
The Bush Administration is planning to end the war in Iraq in 2012, which means they will continue the war until 2012. McCain is talking about a "pre-emptive" war with Iran. You remember his mangling of the Beach Boys "Barbra Ann" into "Bomb, bomb, bomb Iran." The "tribute to Sept 11" said "the first attack came from Iran" and I think refered to the hostage situation of '79.
2) Gut their veterans benefits.
McCain's G. I. bill is career service in the military.
3) Destroy the planet.
Drill, Baby, Drill" the McSame energy plan is coal, oil, and nuclear. Gore, who really won the popular vote in 2000, says we should be 100% solar and wind in 10 years. "Clean and green by 2018!" He's right. It would cost a lot of money - about $950 billion - but that's less than the war in Iraq, and probably less than we will pay for oil over the next 10.
This is how he will make the wounded vets and the parents, children, and siblings of soldiers who gave their all feel better.
To paraphrase the credit card commercial, what's in your arsenal?
McCain Endorses Obama
St Paul, MN. On Thursday, Sept. 4, at the Republican National Convention, US Senator John S. McCain, the Republican Party's nominee for President, endorsed his rival, Senator Barack Obama, for President of the United States. Talk about ending partisan politics and reaching across the aisle, this is what McCain, who prides himself on "plain speaking" said "Let me offer an advance warning to the old, big-spending, do-nothing, me-first, country-second crowd: change is coming."
The Republicans have held the White House for 20 of the last 28 years, and the White House or the Congress for 26 of the last 28 years. And McCain had the chutzpah to walk into their stronghold and say "Change is Coming!"
What a guy.
He has earned my respect.
Not my vote, but my respect.
Speaking from an undisclosed location, Vice President, "Big" Dick Cheney said "What the F*ck? Does the "S" stand for "Stupid?" Or "Sh*t-head?" President Bush said "At's Right. What's Wrong?"
The Republicans have held the White House for 20 of the last 28 years, and the White House or the Congress for 26 of the last 28 years. And McCain had the chutzpah to walk into their stronghold and say "Change is Coming!"
What a guy.
He has earned my respect.
Not my vote, but my respect.
Speaking from an undisclosed location, Vice President, "Big" Dick Cheney said "What the F*ck? Does the "S" stand for "Stupid?" Or "Sh*t-head?" President Bush said "At's Right. What's Wrong?"
Friday, September 5, 2008
* Father / Daughter Talk *
A young woman was about to finish her MBA. Like very few others her age, she considered herself to be a Conservative Republican with Family Values.
While she knew he was devoted to God, to her mother, and to her; she was deeply embarrassed that her scientist father was, in her words, "a fire breathing Liberal." Based on the lectures she attended, the books she read, and the editorials she read in the Wall Street Journal, and Forbes, and the news as presented on CNN, Fox and MSNBC she felt that her father was completely out of touch.
The fact that Republicans were in the White House for 20 of her 28 years helped reinforce this feeling. Her father remembered John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, and the anti-war movement of the 1960's. She remembered Reagan. Her father once joked that Reagan is "imprinted as the canonical President of your childhood." She knew while it was a joke, there was a grain of truth, and she was ok with that. She heard Reagan, Quayle and McCain compare themselves to John Kennedy - McCain was in the navy - but didn't realize that on the issues they were diametrically opposed.
One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to subsidies for oil companies to make drilling more profitable, and for his opposition to outsourcing work to private industry, to companies like Haliburton, and to foreign companies. She couldn't understand his anger at the Administration for firing Prosecutors, didn't understand the difference between serving "at the pleasure of the President" and "for the pleasure of the President."
She deeply regretted an abortion she had had because she got "carried away" after a few drinks too many when she was 17. She stilled loved the boy, altho she hadn't seen him for 10 years.
The objectivity proclaimed by the news media had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father.
He responded by asking how she was doing in school.
Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking very difficult courses and was constantly studying, was working 30 hours per week at minimum wage and had no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time working and studying.
Her father listened and then asked, 'How is your friend Sarah doing?'
She replied, 'Sarah is great. She takes easy classes, she never studies, and she gets C's. But her father went to our school, and donated a library, so she can't fail, and she really doesn't need to work hard. She's entering beauty pagents and will go into Broadcast News. With her looks, her body, and her willingness to use it, she'll go straight to the top. It's not fair, is it?"
He father looked at her and said "Welcome to the Democratic party."
While she knew he was devoted to God, to her mother, and to her; she was deeply embarrassed that her scientist father was, in her words, "a fire breathing Liberal." Based on the lectures she attended, the books she read, and the editorials she read in the Wall Street Journal, and Forbes, and the news as presented on CNN, Fox and MSNBC she felt that her father was completely out of touch.
The fact that Republicans were in the White House for 20 of her 28 years helped reinforce this feeling. Her father remembered John Kennedy, Bobby Kennedy, and the anti-war movement of the 1960's. She remembered Reagan. Her father once joked that Reagan is "imprinted as the canonical President of your childhood." She knew while it was a joke, there was a grain of truth, and she was ok with that. She heard Reagan, Quayle and McCain compare themselves to John Kennedy - McCain was in the navy - but didn't realize that on the issues they were diametrically opposed.
One day she was challenging her father on his opposition to subsidies for oil companies to make drilling more profitable, and for his opposition to outsourcing work to private industry, to companies like Haliburton, and to foreign companies. She couldn't understand his anger at the Administration for firing Prosecutors, didn't understand the difference between serving "at the pleasure of the President" and "for the pleasure of the President."
She deeply regretted an abortion she had had because she got "carried away" after a few drinks too many when she was 17. She stilled loved the boy, altho she hadn't seen him for 10 years.
The objectivity proclaimed by the news media had to be the truth and she indicated so to her father.
He responded by asking how she was doing in school.
Taken aback, she answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain, insisting that she was taking very difficult courses and was constantly studying, was working 30 hours per week at minimum wage and had no time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend, and didn't really have many college friends because she spent all her time working and studying.
Her father listened and then asked, 'How is your friend Sarah doing?'
She replied, 'Sarah is great. She takes easy classes, she never studies, and she gets C's. But her father went to our school, and donated a library, so she can't fail, and she really doesn't need to work hard. She's entering beauty pagents and will go into Broadcast News. With her looks, her body, and her willingness to use it, she'll go straight to the top. It's not fair, is it?"
He father looked at her and said "Welcome to the Democratic party."
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
The Democrats v The Republicans in a Nutshell – Rudy Giuliani
Almost every speaker at the DNC said three things. Each said:
First that they respect John McCain.
Second that they disagree with McCain's vision of America.
Third that McCain's policies will be just like George W. Bush's.
I am waiting for any of the speakers at the RNC to have a noble, a charitable, or an honest word about Obama, Biden, Gore, or any of the Democrats. A “Christian” word, if you will.
I will not hold my breath waiting for a Republican to say 'Obama is a patriotic American with whom I disagree. His policies will be the policies of Bill Clinton, John Kennedy, or Franklin Delano Roosevelt.'
Thus far Lieberman lied about Obama when he said Obama "has not reached across party lines to get anything significant done." He has reached across the aisle, and he has gotten things done – help for veterans.
Guiliani belittled Obama's service as a community organizer, law school professor, Illinois legislator and United States Senator. As I see it, Guiliani has tarnished his own reputation.
But he and Lieberman are illustrative of McCain and the Republicans. They believe that they hold a monopoly on patriotism. They may be monopolists in terms of energy - that's why they favor nuclear, coal, and oil - and they may believe that they are patriotic, but just as an abuser “loves” his spouse, their policies are disastrous.
And just as the spouse of an abuser must leave and protect the children, we must seek shelter from the Republican party.
Questions on Obama v McCain
The President must understand the Constitution of the United States of America.
Every Citizen must understand the Constitution of the United States of America.
Work as a Community Organizer is Service.
Monopolists are not Patriots. Nor are people who outsource jobs.
Bush was the worst President of the United States, and McCain will be just as bad.
Bush was the worst President of the United States TO DATE, but McCain will we worse.
Bush was bad, McCain will be worse, and Sarah Palin will be even worse, unless you own stock in oil companies.
Lieberman should be stripped of all his committee seats in the Senate.
McCain's economic brain, Phil Graham is right - we are a nation of whiners.
First that they respect John McCain.
Second that they disagree with McCain's vision of America.
Third that McCain's policies will be just like George W. Bush's.
I am waiting for any of the speakers at the RNC to have a noble, a charitable, or an honest word about Obama, Biden, Gore, or any of the Democrats. A “Christian” word, if you will.
I will not hold my breath waiting for a Republican to say 'Obama is a patriotic American with whom I disagree. His policies will be the policies of Bill Clinton, John Kennedy, or Franklin Delano Roosevelt.'
Thus far Lieberman lied about Obama when he said Obama "has not reached across party lines to get anything significant done." He has reached across the aisle, and he has gotten things done – help for veterans.
Guiliani belittled Obama's service as a community organizer, law school professor, Illinois legislator and United States Senator. As I see it, Guiliani has tarnished his own reputation.
But he and Lieberman are illustrative of McCain and the Republicans. They believe that they hold a monopoly on patriotism. They may be monopolists in terms of energy - that's why they favor nuclear, coal, and oil - and they may believe that they are patriotic, but just as an abuser “loves” his spouse, their policies are disastrous.
And just as the spouse of an abuser must leave and protect the children, we must seek shelter from the Republican party.
Questions on Obama v McCain
The President must understand the Constitution of the United States of America.
Every Citizen must understand the Constitution of the United States of America.
Work as a Community Organizer is Service.
Monopolists are not Patriots. Nor are people who outsource jobs.
Bush was the worst President of the United States, and McCain will be just as bad.
Bush was the worst President of the United States TO DATE, but McCain will we worse.
Bush was bad, McCain will be worse, and Sarah Palin will be even worse, unless you own stock in oil companies.
Lieberman should be stripped of all his committee seats in the Senate.
McCain's economic brain, Phil Graham is right - we are a nation of whiners.
Palin and the GOP: I Can Hardly Wait
Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin is the featured speaker at the Grand Old Party conference tonight. I can hardly wait. Click Here for the Washington Independent or Here from Anne from Alaska on Sarah Barracuda Palin Images
I imagine Gov. Palin will talk about "Family Values" and being a "Hockey Mom." She should talk about becoming a "Soccer Mom" because if we follow the Bush McCain energy strategy the tundra will melt and soccer will replace fishing in Alaska. Who cares if we lose New Oleans, Florida, the Outer Banks, the Jersey Shore, and Cape Cod. We got Alaska. Some of it's high and dry. As the song goes:
Who cares about those Polar Bears.
I got my baby seal fur coat.
I got mine and I got no cares,
Got no room left on this new houseboat.
From "Sunbathing In Siberia" by XB Cold Fingers. Used with permission.
Palin will talk about energy. For Palin "energy independence" is nuclear power, with tons of radioactive waste, "clean coal," with the high costs of mercury, and carbon sequestration, and offshore drilling, including the Alaska National Wildlife Refuge, ANWR. I don't expect to hear her talk about solar power and wind power. I don't expect to hear her talk about "Global Warming" or the need to move from fossil fuels to modern energy sources.
"Clean Coal" is like "Abstinence." It's not realistic, and therefore it's bad policy.
Palin will probably not mention trying to fire Alaska's Public Safety commisioner Monahan because he wouldn't fire the state trooper who divorced her sister. She will probably talk about fighting corruption and her support of Senator Ted Stevens. It looks like, at least part of the time, she fights corruption in Alaska by sending it to Washington.
Palin will talk about her willingness to serve, and her experience: her B. A. In Journalism from Idaho State, her winning "First Runner Up" in the "Miss Alaska" contest - she didn't even Win! Her experience as Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, a metropolis of 7,000, almost two years as Governor of Alaska. How exactly does Sarah Palin compare to Joe Biden? His family is bigger than Wasilla, Alaska. I am supposed to believe she can take over as President of the United States and Commander in Chief if something happens to McCain?
I don't get McCain. He complained that Obama is popular, called him a celebrity, compared him to Paris Hilton and Brittney Spears. Then in his first "Presidential" decision, he picked a woman Brittney and Paris could relate to. Altho, given their lifestyles or profession both Spears and Hilton have more overseas experience. Maybe he saw Hilton's ad and decided to pick her, but she turned him down. Or maybe he thought she would be even better than Cindy as Miss Buffalo Chip?
Yeah, that's the ticket.
I imagine Gov. Palin will talk about "Family Values" and being a "Hockey Mom." She should talk about becoming a "Soccer Mom" because if we follow the Bush McCain energy strategy the tundra will melt and soccer will replace fishing in Alaska. Who cares if we lose New Oleans, Florida, the Outer Banks, the Jersey Shore, and Cape Cod. We got Alaska. Some of it's high and dry. As the song goes:
Who cares about those Polar Bears.
I got my baby seal fur coat.
I got mine and I got no cares,
Got no room left on this new houseboat.
From "Sunbathing In Siberia" by XB Cold Fingers. Used with permission.
Palin will talk about energy. For Palin "energy independence" is nuclear power, with tons of radioactive waste, "clean coal," with the high costs of mercury, and carbon sequestration, and offshore drilling, including the Alaska National Wildlife Refuge, ANWR. I don't expect to hear her talk about solar power and wind power. I don't expect to hear her talk about "Global Warming" or the need to move from fossil fuels to modern energy sources.
"Clean Coal" is like "Abstinence." It's not realistic, and therefore it's bad policy.
Palin will probably not mention trying to fire Alaska's Public Safety commisioner Monahan because he wouldn't fire the state trooper who divorced her sister. She will probably talk about fighting corruption and her support of Senator Ted Stevens. It looks like, at least part of the time, she fights corruption in Alaska by sending it to Washington.
Palin will talk about her willingness to serve, and her experience: her B. A. In Journalism from Idaho State, her winning "First Runner Up" in the "Miss Alaska" contest - she didn't even Win! Her experience as Mayor of Wasilla, Alaska, a metropolis of 7,000, almost two years as Governor of Alaska. How exactly does Sarah Palin compare to Joe Biden? His family is bigger than Wasilla, Alaska. I am supposed to believe she can take over as President of the United States and Commander in Chief if something happens to McCain?
I don't get McCain. He complained that Obama is popular, called him a celebrity, compared him to Paris Hilton and Brittney Spears. Then in his first "Presidential" decision, he picked a woman Brittney and Paris could relate to. Altho, given their lifestyles or profession both Spears and Hilton have more overseas experience. Maybe he saw Hilton's ad and decided to pick her, but she turned him down. Or maybe he thought she would be even better than Cindy as Miss Buffalo Chip?
Yeah, that's the ticket.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Hurricane Gustave and the Grand Old Republican Party
It's one thing - and the right thing - to cancel "festive" events in the face of natural disaster. However, rather than cancel the speeches, the Republicans should present their vision of how the government should respond in a crisis. The silence is deafening.
As Franklin D. Roosevelt put it, "the nation looked to the government and the government looked away." The Republican vision, FDR said, is "that government is best which is most indifferent." Just as he described the Republicans of the 1920's - those who kicked Teddy Roosevelt out of the GOP, he describes the. Republicans of the 1980's, the 1990's, and today. Not all, just the ones at the top of the party; both stalwarts and mavericks.
The Democrats have a different vision. As FDR put it: government that guarantees
Freedom of speech and assembly.
Freedom to pray (or to not).
Freedom from fear.
Freedom from want.
In more prosaic terms: defend the Constitution, build a healthy economy, preserve a clean natural environment, maintain a strong and effective national security infrastructure, and an effective emergency response team.
As Franklin D. Roosevelt put it, "the nation looked to the government and the government looked away." The Republican vision, FDR said, is "that government is best which is most indifferent." Just as he described the Republicans of the 1920's - those who kicked Teddy Roosevelt out of the GOP, he describes the. Republicans of the 1980's, the 1990's, and today. Not all, just the ones at the top of the party; both stalwarts and mavericks.
The Democrats have a different vision. As FDR put it: government that guarantees
Freedom of speech and assembly.
Freedom to pray (or to not).
Freedom from fear.
Freedom from want.
In more prosaic terms: defend the Constitution, build a healthy economy, preserve a clean natural environment, maintain a strong and effective national security infrastructure, and an effective emergency response team.
Sunday, August 31, 2008
The Mind of McCain
If something happens to me, this little lady can take over. But I'm only 72. I'm tough and I'm strong. I was a P. O. W. for God's sake. And Obama:Columbia, Harvard Law, taught Law School. Big deal. Sara went to college. Got a Bachelor's in Journalism from Idaho. Was Mayor of her city – 9000 people, and Alaska's Governor for almost 2 years. She supports Stevens and she fired that guy Manegan cause he wouldn't fire her sister's ex-husband. She's loyal and she understands power. That's all I ask. That's what I need. And hey, she'd look even better than Cindy as Miss Buffalo Chip!
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Sarah Palin: Another Historic Second From The GOP
Dayton, Ohio. August 29, 2008. You got to hand it to the GOP: Another historic second from the Republican Party. Only 24 years after the Democrats nominated Geraldine Ferraro for Vice President, and after seeing what Hillary Clinton means to people who believe in equal pay for equal work, reproductive rights, blue collar and green collar workers, and education, the Republicans have nominated Sarah Palin, who doesn't "believe" in equal pay for equal work, reproductive rights, education, or even "science" for Vice President and, as the Republicans put it, "Vice Commander in Chief."
But she entered a beauty contest. Who did he consult? Hugh Hefner, Bob Guccione, and Larry Flynt?
And at 44 she is one of the youngest candidates for vice President ever. And at 72 John McCain is one of the oldest. Is there an age problem? Let's think about this. She's 44. He's 72. 44 plus 72 is 116, 116 divided by two is 58. The average age on the Republican ticket is 58. There's no age problem.
A few weeks ago McCain criticized Obama's popularity, comparing him to Paris Hilton and Brittney Spears. Then Rick and Cathy Hilton - Paris' parents - criticized him, and Paris herself weighed in on Energy Policy. Paris is no Al Gore, but I wish she was a friend of mine. McCain actually nominated a beauty pagent contestant for Vice President. Have they been watching "Legally Blonde"?
The Democrats say Palin has no international experience. But she's from Alaska. That's practically a foreign country. I don't know what they're talking about.
Questions for Sarah Palin
But she entered a beauty contest. Who did he consult? Hugh Hefner, Bob Guccione, and Larry Flynt?
And at 44 she is one of the youngest candidates for vice President ever. And at 72 John McCain is one of the oldest. Is there an age problem? Let's think about this. She's 44. He's 72. 44 plus 72 is 116, 116 divided by two is 58. The average age on the Republican ticket is 58. There's no age problem.
A few weeks ago McCain criticized Obama's popularity, comparing him to Paris Hilton and Brittney Spears. Then Rick and Cathy Hilton - Paris' parents - criticized him, and Paris herself weighed in on Energy Policy. Paris is no Al Gore, but I wish she was a friend of mine. McCain actually nominated a beauty pagent contestant for Vice President. Have they been watching "Legally Blonde"?
The Democrats say Palin has no international experience. But she's from Alaska. That's practically a foreign country. I don't know what they're talking about.
Questions for Sarah Palin
- Are you related to Michael Palin, of Monty Python's Flying Circus?
- As a former Beauty Queen - Did you win the "Constitutional Law Competition," the "Bathing Suit Competition," or the "Talent Competition"?
- As the Governor of an Oil Producing State, have you ever wanted to join OPEC?
- As the Governor of an Oil Producing State, how do you feel about Solar Energy and Wind Power?
- Did Condi Rice threaten to "Scratch Your Eyes Out" because she wasn't picked? And if so, what are you prepared to do about it?
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Drilling for Solar Power and Mining the Winds
I've been thinking about George Lakoff's ideas on framing the debate, as presented in "Don't Think of an Elephant" and I think about solar power and wind power more than I think about food.
I just heard that there was a big fight in Minneapolis over drilling in the Alaska National Wildlife Refuge, ANWR. The rank and file and the "machers" of the Republican Party, the people I call "Republicanista," want to drill in ANWR. Their presumptive standard bearer, John McCain, wants more offshore drilling. He wants to drill in Alaska, and in California, Florida, New Jersey, and everwhere else. McCain, however, is opposed to drilling in ANWR "at this time." (Be very careful when a politician says "At this time." This phrase, "At this time" when used during a political campaign, means "At this time during a political campaign.")
I think we should be building more solar and wind power systems, we should be using ocean current, cogen, and conservation, and figuring out how to do "Deep Geothermal." And most of the people I talk to, regardless of whether they are "conservative," "progressive," or "liberal," as long as they are "intelligent," agree that solar and wind power are available now, and are pretty good for the environment, the economy, and national security. Even John McCain. But not the movers and shakers of the Republican party.
McCain want 20% of our electricity to come from clean renewable sources by 2030. Barack Obama has a more aggressive goal: 25% by 2025. Al Gore makes Obama look conservative. He thinks we can do 100% in 10 years, sees the US "Clean and Green by 2018."
I agree with Gore.
And I have figured out how to get McCain and the "Republicanista" on my side. We should just call it "Drilling." "Drilling for solar power!" After all, the roofers, mechanics, and electricians use drills when assembling solar energy systems and wind turbines. Who says you have to drill down? Why not drill up? Google "mines" the Internet. We could be Mining the Winds.
I just heard that there was a big fight in Minneapolis over drilling in the Alaska National Wildlife Refuge, ANWR. The rank and file and the "machers" of the Republican Party, the people I call "Republicanista," want to drill in ANWR. Their presumptive standard bearer, John McCain, wants more offshore drilling. He wants to drill in Alaska, and in California, Florida, New Jersey, and everwhere else. McCain, however, is opposed to drilling in ANWR "at this time." (Be very careful when a politician says "At this time." This phrase, "At this time" when used during a political campaign, means "At this time during a political campaign.")
I think we should be building more solar and wind power systems, we should be using ocean current, cogen, and conservation, and figuring out how to do "Deep Geothermal." And most of the people I talk to, regardless of whether they are "conservative," "progressive," or "liberal," as long as they are "intelligent," agree that solar and wind power are available now, and are pretty good for the environment, the economy, and national security. Even John McCain. But not the movers and shakers of the Republican party.
McCain want 20% of our electricity to come from clean renewable sources by 2030. Barack Obama has a more aggressive goal: 25% by 2025. Al Gore makes Obama look conservative. He thinks we can do 100% in 10 years, sees the US "Clean and Green by 2018."
I agree with Gore.
And I have figured out how to get McCain and the "Republicanista" on my side. We should just call it "Drilling." "Drilling for solar power!" After all, the roofers, mechanics, and electricians use drills when assembling solar energy systems and wind turbines. Who says you have to drill down? Why not drill up? Google "mines" the Internet. We could be Mining the Winds.
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
This Week’s Nero's Fiddle Award goes to - Condoleezza Rice.
Rice laid the foundation for this award 7 years ago, in June, July, and August, 2001, by ignoring Richard Clarke on Osama bin Laden and Al Queda, and with he deafening silence in the rubble of the
Last week she chastized Putin and Medvyedev "you can't just invade another country" she said. "Do you think this is 1968?" she asked, referring to the Russian invasion of Chechoslovakia, or, perhaps, to the War in
The Nero's Fiddle Award Committee sent me to ‘Virtual Moscow’ for an imaginary interview with Vladimir Putin and his puppet Medvyedev. (We don't have money for air fare and I'm not about to go to
"Vy not?" Putin said, when he stopped laughing. "You did. Ven you get out of Afganistan, vich you lost ven you vent into Iraq, which, by the vay, your own Alan Greenspan said vas a vor for oil, ven you get out of Iraq, ven you get your missiles out of Poland, ven you close your prision and get out of Cuba, den ve might listen to you. Until then, you are a lame duck, your eagle has a broken wing, and the bear is growing stronger."
Medvyedev smiled, looked at a map, turned to Putin, and said "Da. Let's figure out where we go next. Vat do you think of
That was last week. Rice, dimly realizing that Putin had a royal straight flush, Medvyedev had four aces, and she and Georgie were holding a pair of duces, a three, a five, and a seven, and they didn't have time to stack the deck, quickly turned her attention to that old standby, the Arab-Israeli conflict. She acknowledged that Bush's dream of a Palestinian state might not be realized by the end of his term. "Where were you," I'd like to ask, for the last seven and a half years.
She looked at me with her big brown eyes, smiled her 37.2 watt smile, gave me that deer in the headlight stare the Bushes made famous, and said "you read the papers, you know where we've been, Afganistan, Iraq, failing up."
"Right," I said, "we've had Bin Laden on the run for 7 years. We've been liberating
"You write well," she smiled again, like the Xenia Onatopp, Famke Janssen’s character in Goilden Eye, "but you think too much," Rice said to me. "You should go to
"Thanks but no thanks, Condi," I said. "I'm not a real journalist. I'll leave
What should we do about
- Ignore them, they will just go away.
- Urge Europe to buy natural gas from
- Install more "Defensive Missiles" in
- Buy land in Siberia, where we will go sunbathing when the
- Pray
Copyright, C, 2008. L. J. Furman, All Rights Reserved. This is a work of satire. Any resemblance to the facts is purely tragic.
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Today's Nero's Fiddle Award Goes To: The DemoPunks
August 13, An Undisclosed Location. Do you agree with Florida Democrat Robert Wexler and Ohio Democrat Dennis Kucinich that Bush and Cheney should be impeached? Do you feel that the war in Iraq was conducted with the incompetence that rivals FEMA in New Orleans? Or that it was a mistake? Do you feel that rather than enhance our national security, the war - 4,000 dead, 19,000 wounded, and $1 Trillion spent, has strengthened Iran and weakened the United States? Do you feel that the Federal Emergency Management Agency, FEMA, should be an effective emergency response force, or an agency of incompetence and a gold mine of patronage? Do you believe that the Department of Justice should focus on race, religion, party and politics when hiring and firing staff and investigating and prosecuting corruption? Do you work? Do you need health care? Do you want your children to be able to get an education, then find rewarding work? Do you believe in "government of the people, by the people, and for the people?" The “DemoPunks” don't.
Do you see in Senator Barack Obama the 21st Century's answer to FDR? That's exactly NOT what these "DemoPunks" see. The "DemoPunks," like the "Republicanista" they love, like Presidents Harding, Coolidge, Hoover, and Bush, feel "government is best which is most indifferent.". And that's why the "DemoPunks;" Rep. Debbie Wasserman Schultz, Senator Daniel Inouye, and Rep. Kendrick Meek are in the running for the coveted "Nero's Fiddle."
Debbie Wasserman Schultz, a South Florida Democrat, co-chairs the DCCC Red to Blue program - her mission: elect more Democrats to the House. But she refuses to accept her mission, she refuses to campaign against South Florida Republicans. In fact, she repeatedly spouts lavish praise for Republicanista Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen instead of supporting Annette Taddeo. DFA endorsed Taddeo, the Demicratic Party endorsed Taddeo, so Rep Debbie, what are you waiting for? A special invitation? Send me a stamped self-addressed envelope, enclose a check for $2,300 for Annette Taddeo and I'll send you a special invitation. Do your job and I'll send you an invitation. And answer one question, Debbie: whose side are you on? Really.
Democratic Senator Daniel Inouye from Hawaii actively campaigns for his longtime buddy, the indicted Republican Senator, Ted Stevens. While we're glad to see Inouye has feelings, we think his feelings for this country and the citizens should outweigh his feelings for indicted Senators. We feel that if Inouye campaigns for anyone in Alaska, he should campaign for Democrat Mark Begich. DFA endorsed Begich. The Democratic Party endorsed Begich. We would, of course, be proud to see Inouye visit "Uncle Ted" in the "Big House" if he's convicted and sentenced. (Course, if convicted, Stevens is likely to join Abramoff on the short list to be pardoned.)
So, "Senator Dano," would you like to re-join the Democratic Party? Do you want a special invitation? Send a stamped a stamped self-addressed envelope, with $2,300 for Mark Begich, and I'll send you a special invitation. But answer one question, Dano, whose side are you on?
Then there's Rep. Kendrick Meek. He also represents a safe Democratic district in South Florida - but is he out there stumping for Democrat Joe Garcia? No, he's holding campaign events with Republican extremist Rep. Mario Diaz-Balart. So, Kendrick, want your special invitation to re-join the Democrats? Send me a stamped a stamped self-addressed envelope, with $2,300 for Joe Garcia, and I'll send you an invitation. But answer one question "Bubba:" whose side are you on?
There you have it. The "Nero's Fiddle" Award today is a four-way tie. It goes to these DemoPunks, and to the biggest DemoPunk of them all, the man who put the donkey in "Republicanista", he's never far from John "W" McCain, none other than Senator Joe "Horse's Rump" Lieberman.
And to paraphrase "Dirty Harry" Callahan, "Are ya feeling lucky, punk?"
Sunday, August 10, 2008
McCain, A Maverick in Marriage
I wouldn't say McCain "cheated" on his first wife, Carol. His then girl-friend and current second wife Cindy had the same first initial, "C" and the same hair color, blond, and Cindy had $100,000,000. Besides, while Cindy was about 20 when McCain was about 40, Cindy was the same age as Carol when McCain married her; he just wanted to recapture his youth. McCain doesn't call it cheating, he calls it playing by his own rules.
McCain's a maverick in the GOP and McCain is a maverick in marriage.
McCain's a maverick in the GOP and McCain is a maverick in marriage.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Bin Laden and the Driver
August 6, 2008. It was 7 years ago that the President was handed a memo titled "Bin Laden Determined to Strike in the U. S." And Six Years, 11 Months, and 5 Days ago, on September 11, 2001, he struck.
Bin Laden is still at large - but we got his driver - sentenced to 5 and a half years. The Taliban, which gave bin Laden his base of operations, is growing stronger. After going after bin Laden for a while, cornered bin Laden in Tora Bora, paid some Taliban fighters to 'take him out' and they took him out, to lunch, to a nice little bistro not far from the fighting.
We shifted the "War on Terror" to Iraq. In Iraq we have 4,000 dead, and 19,000 serious injuries - lost arms, legs. I don't know how many dead or wounded Iraquis. We now know the justifications for the war in Iraq were fake - there were no weapons of mass destruction, there was no chemical weapons program, no nuclear weapons program. There was no link between Saddam and bin Laden - Saddam killed people like bin Laden. Bin Laden hates secular Arabs like Saddam almost as much as he hates Americans.
In addition to the dead and wounded, we have squandered hundreds of Billions of dollars, maybe over $One Trillion. The political cost is greater. America's good name has been dragged thru the mud. Our national security has been compromised. Thanks to us, Iran is stronger militarily, politically, and economically. Iran is stronger militarily because Iraq, their 5,000 year rival, has been thrown into chaos. Iran is stronger politically, as they are now able to foster more chaos in Iraq, in Lebanon and in Gaza with Syria, Hamas and Hezbollah. And Iran is stronger economically as oil is sky high.
John "W" McCain vowed that we'll be in Iraq for the next 100 years, as long as it takes - and bin Laden will surely by dead by 2108!
And we got bin Laden's driver. Bin Laden won't be going anywhere. Now if we can only get the producer, camera man and sound crew, we'll be able to silence bin Laden once and for all.
Bin Laden is still at large - but we got his driver - sentenced to 5 and a half years. The Taliban, which gave bin Laden his base of operations, is growing stronger. After going after bin Laden for a while, cornered bin Laden in Tora Bora, paid some Taliban fighters to 'take him out' and they took him out, to lunch, to a nice little bistro not far from the fighting.
We shifted the "War on Terror" to Iraq. In Iraq we have 4,000 dead, and 19,000 serious injuries - lost arms, legs. I don't know how many dead or wounded Iraquis. We now know the justifications for the war in Iraq were fake - there were no weapons of mass destruction, there was no chemical weapons program, no nuclear weapons program. There was no link between Saddam and bin Laden - Saddam killed people like bin Laden. Bin Laden hates secular Arabs like Saddam almost as much as he hates Americans.
In addition to the dead and wounded, we have squandered hundreds of Billions of dollars, maybe over $One Trillion. The political cost is greater. America's good name has been dragged thru the mud. Our national security has been compromised. Thanks to us, Iran is stronger militarily, politically, and economically. Iran is stronger militarily because Iraq, their 5,000 year rival, has been thrown into chaos. Iran is stronger politically, as they are now able to foster more chaos in Iraq, in Lebanon and in Gaza with Syria, Hamas and Hezbollah. And Iran is stronger economically as oil is sky high.
John "W" McCain vowed that we'll be in Iraq for the next 100 years, as long as it takes - and bin Laden will surely by dead by 2108!
And we got bin Laden's driver. Bin Laden won't be going anywhere. Now if we can only get the producer, camera man and sound crew, we'll be able to silence bin Laden once and for all.
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
The Monica Effect
Dateline August 8. The Ivory Towers of Academia. "Those who don't learn from history," it is said, "are doomed to repeat it." The tendency of history to repeat itself is well known, but not well understood. Considering the roles played by women named Monica in the Administrations of current and recent U. S. Presidents, specifically, the role that Monica Goodling played in the Bush Administration, the Justice Department, and the United States of America, and the role Monica Lewinsky played in the Clinton Administration, the White House, and the good ole USA, I have prepared a scorecard that compares the two Monicas; Goodling and Lewinsky. Dubbed "The Monica Effect," this phenomena, while perhaps trivial and admittedly hard to swallow, must be studied.
Monica Lewinsky: willing to do anything, Anything! for The President.
Monica Goodling: willing to do anything, Anything! for The President.
Monica Lewinsky: Bimbo, certified in many bars, worshipped The President. Still does.
Monica Goodling: Attorney, admitted to The Bar, worshipped The President. Still does.
Monica Lewinsky: Didn't know anything about the Constitution. Didn't need to.
Monica Goodling: Didn't know anything about the Constitution. Didn't want to. Altho she was an attorney.
Monica Lewinsky: wore a blue dress for a private meeting with the President in the White House.
Monica Goodling: wore a white dress for dinner with Karl Rove and a blue suit for public testimony with Congress in The House.
Monica Lewinsky: was there when The President violated his sacred vows of marriage.
Monica Goodling: was there when The President violated his sacred oath of office.
Monica Lewinsky: dismissed by The President before he got caught.
Monica Goodling: dismissed by The President after she got caught.
Monica Lewinsky: broke no law but violated the rules of decorum and good taste.
Monica Goodling: broke the law and violated the Constitution of United States.
Monica Lewinsky: stimulated the President's breaking the law by committing perjury.
Monica Goodling: allowed the President's appearing to obey the law by preserving his deniability.
Monica Lewinsky: not pardoned by The President because she committed no crimes.
Monica Goodling: in line to be pardoned by The President because she "may" have committed crimes.
Monica Lewinsky: helped George W. Bush get elected as he boasted of integrity during his campaign, and as Al Gore distanced himself from the President.
Monica Goodling: may help Barack Obama get elected as he campaigns on "Change We Can Believe In" and as McCain distances himself from the President.
* This is a work of satire. Obama is a Professor of Constitutional Law who has demonstrated organizational skills, management expertise, and good judgment. McCain is a career politician who claims to be an independent minded "maverick" but who has voted with the Administration 97% of the time. Who would make a better President? From whom would you buy a used car?
Monica Lewinsky: willing to do anything, Anything! for The President.
Monica Goodling: willing to do anything, Anything! for The President.
Monica Lewinsky: Bimbo, certified in many bars, worshipped The President. Still does.
Monica Goodling: Attorney, admitted to The Bar, worshipped The President. Still does.
Monica Lewinsky: Didn't know anything about the Constitution. Didn't need to.
Monica Goodling: Didn't know anything about the Constitution. Didn't want to. Altho she was an attorney.
Monica Lewinsky: wore a blue dress for a private meeting with the President in the White House.
Monica Goodling: wore a white dress for dinner with Karl Rove and a blue suit for public testimony with Congress in The House.
Monica Lewinsky: was there when The President violated his sacred vows of marriage.
Monica Goodling: was there when The President violated his sacred oath of office.
Monica Lewinsky: dismissed by The President before he got caught.
Monica Goodling: dismissed by The President after she got caught.
Monica Lewinsky: broke no law but violated the rules of decorum and good taste.
Monica Goodling: broke the law and violated the Constitution of United States.
Monica Lewinsky: stimulated the President's breaking the law by committing perjury.
Monica Goodling: allowed the President's appearing to obey the law by preserving his deniability.
Monica Lewinsky: not pardoned by The President because she committed no crimes.
Monica Goodling: in line to be pardoned by The President because she "may" have committed crimes.
Monica Lewinsky: helped George W. Bush get elected as he boasted of integrity during his campaign, and as Al Gore distanced himself from the President.
Monica Goodling: may help Barack Obama get elected as he campaigns on "Change We Can Believe In" and as McCain distances himself from the President.
* This is a work of satire. Obama is a Professor of Constitutional Law who has demonstrated organizational skills, management expertise, and good judgment. McCain is a career politician who claims to be an independent minded "maverick" but who has voted with the Administration 97% of the time. Who would make a better President? From whom would you buy a used car?
Thursday, July 31, 2008
The Nero's Fiddle Award Goes To - John McCain
This week's coveted Nero's Fiddle Award goes to John "W" McCain for the ad in which he compares Barack Obama to Paris Hilton and Brittney Spears. (I think Ms. Hilton does a great job of marketing herself and her "brand" and Ms. Spears has a splendid voice and looks good in her costumes, but with all due respect, neither have gone to Columbia and Harvard Law, at least not yet.)
It was a no-brainer - awarding the award - because the ad shows that McCain and his staff have no brains. First of all, Rick Hilton, Paris Hilton's daddy, was a McCain supporter - one of the few. So was his wife, Paris' mom, Cathy Hilton. And so was Brittney Spears. (And I understand that the endorsement from Brittney meant a lot to McCain - or at least Cindy McCain. I think John McCain enjoyed the rock videos. What 72 year old guy wouldn't enjoy Brittney Spears' rock videos?)
Still, this is great news for Chihuahua breeders. It's a lot easier for Obama's famous fans to emulate Obama by buying a Chihuahua then by attending and graduating Columbia University and Harvard Law, by editing the Harvard Law Review, then teaching Constitutional Law, and then running and winning an honorable campaign to the U. S. Senate.
The Chihuahua option is cheaper too. You don't need an education to buy a Chihuahua, you don't even need much intelligence; you just need a pooper scooper - which is something you can get from the McCain campaign.
You need intelligence and an education to even go to Columbia and Harvard Law - which is something you can't get from the McCain campaign.
This may backfire on the McCain-ista. The people who love and respect Paris Hilton and Brittney Spears, may actually register to vote and vote for Obama. Ask Rick, Cathy, and Paris Hilton how they feel.
I hope it doesn't backfire on the McCain-ista. I'll have nothing to write about. On the other hand, if Obama wins and the economy improves, I'll be too busy working and planning my investments to crack wise on this blog.
It was a no-brainer - awarding the award - because the ad shows that McCain and his staff have no brains. First of all, Rick Hilton, Paris Hilton's daddy, was a McCain supporter - one of the few. So was his wife, Paris' mom, Cathy Hilton. And so was Brittney Spears. (And I understand that the endorsement from Brittney meant a lot to McCain - or at least Cindy McCain. I think John McCain enjoyed the rock videos. What 72 year old guy wouldn't enjoy Brittney Spears' rock videos?)
Still, this is great news for Chihuahua breeders. It's a lot easier for Obama's famous fans to emulate Obama by buying a Chihuahua then by attending and graduating Columbia University and Harvard Law, by editing the Harvard Law Review, then teaching Constitutional Law, and then running and winning an honorable campaign to the U. S. Senate.
The Chihuahua option is cheaper too. You don't need an education to buy a Chihuahua, you don't even need much intelligence; you just need a pooper scooper - which is something you can get from the McCain campaign.
You need intelligence and an education to even go to Columbia and Harvard Law - which is something you can't get from the McCain campaign.
This may backfire on the McCain-ista. The people who love and respect Paris Hilton and Brittney Spears, may actually register to vote and vote for Obama. Ask Rick, Cathy, and Paris Hilton how they feel.
I hope it doesn't backfire on the McCain-ista. I'll have nothing to write about. On the other hand, if Obama wins and the economy improves, I'll be too busy working and planning my investments to crack wise on this blog.
My Prediction - McCain - By $100 Million
Senator John McCain is worth about $100,000,000 - assuming his wife dies and he inherits her fortune. Therefore he has a lot of money to spend becoming President. But he doesn't have to spend it all. Traditionally, we Americans pick the dumb guy, so he's a shoe in.
Think about it - in 2000 there were two Viet Nam veterans, Gore and McCain, and a draft-dodger, Bush. We elected the draft dodger. While he lost the popular vote, he won by 5-4 in the Supreme Court.
Again in 2004, there was one Viet Nam veteran and a draft dodger. Again we elected the draft dodger - and this time he actually won the popular vote (altho that may have been because certain people were excluded from voting in Ohio).
So today the election is between the Navy Pilot who lost 5 planes, including the one in which he was shot down, and the Harvard Law alum who edited the Harvard Law Review and went on to teach Constitutional Law, became a State Senator, then a United States Senator. You might think that having a President who actually understands and respects the Constitution would be a good idea, but, education is so old fashioned, no one's educated today. President Bush ignores the Constitution, and the way the Republicanista have stacked the courts pretty soon no one will have the right to sue any corporation so what's the point in knowing the law or the Constitution?
But we'll always have Paris. Maybe she'll run for President.
Think about it - in 2000 there were two Viet Nam veterans, Gore and McCain, and a draft-dodger, Bush. We elected the draft dodger. While he lost the popular vote, he won by 5-4 in the Supreme Court.
Again in 2004, there was one Viet Nam veteran and a draft dodger. Again we elected the draft dodger - and this time he actually won the popular vote (altho that may have been because certain people were excluded from voting in Ohio).
So today the election is between the Navy Pilot who lost 5 planes, including the one in which he was shot down, and the Harvard Law alum who edited the Harvard Law Review and went on to teach Constitutional Law, became a State Senator, then a United States Senator. You might think that having a President who actually understands and respects the Constitution would be a good idea, but, education is so old fashioned, no one's educated today. President Bush ignores the Constitution, and the way the Republicanista have stacked the courts pretty soon no one will have the right to sue any corporation so what's the point in knowing the law or the Constitution?
But we'll always have Paris. Maybe she'll run for President.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Homer Simpson on Due Process
I think Homer Simpson said:
'All men are created equal' means 'The poor guy, accused of murder, has the same right to a "fair" trial before being executed as the rich guy who paid him to bump off Mrs. Rich Guy.'
'All men are created equal' means 'The poor guy, accused of murder, has the same right to a "fair" trial before being executed as the rich guy who paid him to bump off Mrs. Rich Guy.'
Monday, July 14, 2008
The Coveted Nero's Fiddle Award goes to PHIL GRAMM
Phil Gramm's statements that the United States is in a "mental recession" and that we are a "nation of whiners" earned him the coveted "Nero's Fiddle" award. The award, which is redeemable in cash, unmarked bills, or in deposits to a certain Swiss bank account, keeps the recession in the mind but out of the pockets of this so-called "whiner."
While it doesn't have the cachet of Marie Antoinette's "Let them eat cake," or Donald Rumsfeld's "you go to war with the army you have," Gramm's statements are succinct, eloquent, and clear.
They also show that Gramm, who serves as McCain Campaign co-chair, and cice chair of investment bank UBS, and who is referred to as "McCain's Econ Brain" understands exactly what most Americans are going thru, despite the facts of the personal wealth that he and his wife Wendy Gramm enjoy. Gramm understands the problems on Wall Street. UBS, which he is "Vice Chair" has declined in value to 2002 levels in the last year.
He also knows about energy costs. According to Jason Leopold, writing in the Baltimore Chronicle & Sentinel, "Gramm, as a powerful Texas senator in 2000, slipped an Enron-backed provision into the Commodities Futures Modernization Act that exempted from regulation energy trading on electronic platforms. Then, over the next year, Enron – with Gramm's wife Wendy serving on its board of directors – worked to create false electricity shortages in California, bilking consumers out of an estimated $40 billion."
It is not currently known who is worth more, Gramm, or McCain. The Presumptive Republican nominee is worth an estimated $50 million. (If Arizona is a community property state and Cindy McCain were to dump him for someone younger, he would get $50 million.) Gramm, on the other hand and as noted, is Vice Chairman of UBS.
While it doesn't have the cachet of Marie Antoinette's "Let them eat cake," or Donald Rumsfeld's "you go to war with the army you have," Gramm's statements are succinct, eloquent, and clear.
They also show that Gramm, who serves as McCain Campaign co-chair, and cice chair of investment bank UBS, and who is referred to as "McCain's Econ Brain" understands exactly what most Americans are going thru, despite the facts of the personal wealth that he and his wife Wendy Gramm enjoy. Gramm understands the problems on Wall Street. UBS, which he is "Vice Chair" has declined in value to 2002 levels in the last year.
He also knows about energy costs. According to Jason Leopold, writing in the Baltimore Chronicle & Sentinel, "Gramm, as a powerful Texas senator in 2000, slipped an Enron-backed provision into the Commodities Futures Modernization Act that exempted from regulation energy trading on electronic platforms. Then, over the next year, Enron – with Gramm's wife Wendy serving on its board of directors – worked to create false electricity shortages in California, bilking consumers out of an estimated $40 billion."
It is not currently known who is worth more, Gramm, or McCain. The Presumptive Republican nominee is worth an estimated $50 million. (If Arizona is a community property state and Cindy McCain were to dump him for someone younger, he would get $50 million.) Gramm, on the other hand and as noted, is Vice Chairman of UBS.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Ten Ways to Become Rich and Powerful, by George W. Bush
Ten Ways to be rich, powerful, and successful: It's not hard; I did it. by George W Bush.
1. Have a daddy who's President. It's not hard. I did it.
2. Have a grand-daddy who's a Senator and a banker with a big New York City Investment Bank. It's not hard. I did it.
3. Go to
4. Go to
5. Join the National Guard, Learn to fly jet fighters. Then skip town to work on political campaigns and have your daddy erase the records. It's not hard. I did it.
6. Go into the oil business. It's not hard. I did it.
7. Buy a baseball team. It's not hard. I did it.
8. Become Governor of a state. It's not hard. I did it.
9. Become President of the
10. Start a war. It's not hard. I did it.
Yep, these is 10 ways to become rich, powerful. They're not hard. I did it. Fact, I did all 10.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Dear Hillary, Thank You
You and Barack fought tough campaigns, grounded in reality and hard work. You and Barack received a tremendous number of votes - more votes in the Primaries than FDR received in the General Elections when he beat Herbert Hoover and Alf Landon in the landslides of 1932 and 1936 and more than John Kennedy received in the General Election when he beat Nixon in 1960.
Could you have won the nomination? Could you have won the White House? Yes, I am proud to say. It's not about gender and it’s not about skin color. It's as Martin Luther King dreamed - it's about ideas. And it's about us. All of us. Male, female, white, black, brown, red, yellow, and green - especially Green. Buddhist, Christian, Hindu, Jewish, Moslem, agnostic, and atheist; Native American, and immigrants; whether we came four years ago, or our forbears came 400 years ago, whether they sailed on the Mayflower, or they walked across a land bridge over what is today the Bering Sea.
Obama has won the delegates he needs to be the nominee and we, progressives, moderates, and conservatives, we the people, your supporters and Barack's, our children, and our parents; we need to help Barack win the White House. We must win. Whether by a slim majority like the 112,827 votes with which John Kennedy beat Nixon, or by a landslide like the 12 million votes and 42 states with which FDR clobbered Hoover in 1932. We must win. Not at any cost but because the cost is so high. We need to prevent McCain from serving "Bush's Third Term." Because McCain, like Bush, will serve the country to the special interests.
We must win the states you won - New York, New Jersey, California. We must win the states Barack won - Iowa, Illinois, and Hawaii. We must win the battlegrounds like Florida, Pennsylvania, and Ohio. We don't need to win all 50 states. But we need to win by a majority large enough so that the Republicans can't steal the election - again. We need to carry enough seats in the House and Senate so the Republicans can't stop the policy initiatives we must push thru to rebuild this country. And we must rebuild so we can compete today in the 21st Century.
We must rebuild the schools, roads, railroads and factories. We must redesign the education systems and business models. We must redesign and rebuild the safety net Roosevelt, Kennedy and Johnson worked so long and so hard to build; the safety net Hoover couldn't conceive; the safety net Bush, Cheney and McCain can't abide.
We need to win where there are people who go to college, people who went to college, and people who can't afford college; people with health insurance and those who can't afford it and thus who don't have access to health care - 1 out of 6 of us - and Earth to George W. Bush and John 'W' McCain - the emergency room is for emergencies; it is not for primary care. We need to win because people are struggling to pay their bills and have to choose between food, medication, fuel, and rent.
I would love to see you as the Vice President. And I would really love to see you in the Senate for the next twenty years - in the Senate giving the Republicans a measure of what they have given us. I would love to see Bill Clinton the Ambassador to the United Nations fighting for the New American Dream - fighting for all the children of this Bush-whacked world.
So, Hillary, lead your followers from this Bush-whacked country. Campaign for Barack and for America, and ask Bill and Chelsea to do the same. Then go back to the Senate and whip Joe Lieberman into line. And Arlen Specter, Orrin Hatch, John "W" McCain and all the rest. They are stupid, pompous and arrogant - like Santorum claiming to diagnose Terri Schiavo - over TV. And Larry Craig claiming 'I'm not gay (I just fool around with guys)'. Give no quarter. Destroy Norquist the Traitor - before he destroys the country. Put them into place - out of the closet and into retirement. And if they are so aghast at government spending take away their pensions. Filibuster them into submission. Torment the so-called moderate Republicans and the hard line "Republicanista" who put Party ahead of Country, who make policy via lobbyist, who rant and rave against drugs and homosexuality and then go buy drugs and solicit gay prostitutes, who savaged George H. W. Bush for daring to raise taxes to pay for government programs, who tried to destroy your husband, these ‘chicken-hawks’ who send young people to war then take away their veterans benefits and health care. They should be ashamed of themselves. But they have no shame. They have no honor. They have only greed and false pride and arrogance.
Dare to be great. With Honor.
Could you have won the nomination? Could you have won the White House? Yes, I am proud to say. It's not about gender and it’s not about skin color. It's as Martin Luther King dreamed - it's about ideas. And it's about us. All of us. Male, female, white, black, brown, red, yellow, and green - especially Green. Buddhist, Christian, Hindu, Jewish, Moslem, agnostic, and atheist; Native American, and immigrants; whether we came four years ago, or our forbears came 400 years ago, whether they sailed on the Mayflower, or they walked across a land bridge over what is today the Bering Sea.
Obama has won the delegates he needs to be the nominee and we, progressives, moderates, and conservatives, we the people, your supporters and Barack's, our children, and our parents; we need to help Barack win the White House. We must win. Whether by a slim majority like the 112,827 votes with which John Kennedy beat Nixon, or by a landslide like the 12 million votes and 42 states with which FDR clobbered Hoover in 1932. We must win. Not at any cost but because the cost is so high. We need to prevent McCain from serving "Bush's Third Term." Because McCain, like Bush, will serve the country to the special interests.
We must win the states you won - New York, New Jersey, California. We must win the states Barack won - Iowa, Illinois, and Hawaii. We must win the battlegrounds like Florida, Pennsylvania, and Ohio. We don't need to win all 50 states. But we need to win by a majority large enough so that the Republicans can't steal the election - again. We need to carry enough seats in the House and Senate so the Republicans can't stop the policy initiatives we must push thru to rebuild this country. And we must rebuild so we can compete today in the 21st Century.
We must rebuild the schools, roads, railroads and factories. We must redesign the education systems and business models. We must redesign and rebuild the safety net Roosevelt, Kennedy and Johnson worked so long and so hard to build; the safety net Hoover couldn't conceive; the safety net Bush, Cheney and McCain can't abide.
We need to win where there are people who go to college, people who went to college, and people who can't afford college; people with health insurance and those who can't afford it and thus who don't have access to health care - 1 out of 6 of us - and Earth to George W. Bush and John 'W' McCain - the emergency room is for emergencies; it is not for primary care. We need to win because people are struggling to pay their bills and have to choose between food, medication, fuel, and rent.
I would love to see you as the Vice President. And I would really love to see you in the Senate for the next twenty years - in the Senate giving the Republicans a measure of what they have given us. I would love to see Bill Clinton the Ambassador to the United Nations fighting for the New American Dream - fighting for all the children of this Bush-whacked world.
So, Hillary, lead your followers from this Bush-whacked country. Campaign for Barack and for America, and ask Bill and Chelsea to do the same. Then go back to the Senate and whip Joe Lieberman into line. And Arlen Specter, Orrin Hatch, John "W" McCain and all the rest. They are stupid, pompous and arrogant - like Santorum claiming to diagnose Terri Schiavo - over TV. And Larry Craig claiming 'I'm not gay (I just fool around with guys)'. Give no quarter. Destroy Norquist the Traitor - before he destroys the country. Put them into place - out of the closet and into retirement. And if they are so aghast at government spending take away their pensions. Filibuster them into submission. Torment the so-called moderate Republicans and the hard line "Republicanista" who put Party ahead of Country, who make policy via lobbyist, who rant and rave against drugs and homosexuality and then go buy drugs and solicit gay prostitutes, who savaged George H. W. Bush for daring to raise taxes to pay for government programs, who tried to destroy your husband, these ‘chicken-hawks’ who send young people to war then take away their veterans benefits and health care. They should be ashamed of themselves. But they have no shame. They have no honor. They have only greed and false pride and arrogance.
Dare to be great. With Honor.
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Bush, McCain, & Hoover
I expect my government to plan for the future and regulate corporate behavior the way I expect it to secure the borders, protect the air, water, and natural resources, and provide protection from muggers, rapists, and other criminals. As a thinking, voting, and tax paying citizen, I demand it. However, Bush, and McCain, like Herbert Hoover, believe that "Rugged Individualism" means not "one nation under God" but “every man for himself” and that government interference in the economy is "socialism."
Unfortunately however, the reality of that Republican Administration fell short of ideal when the excesses of the non-regulated 1920’s created the Great Depression.
We Americans, in the midst of The Great Depression, knew better than elect a laissez-faire Republicanista to the White House in 1932. Will we know better today?
Multiculturalism is not the issue
This was published in the Asbury Park Press, on line, and in the Asbury Park Press Community Reporter, Thursday, May 22, 2008.
LETTER OF THE WEEK: Parker's column on presidency lacked logic
Kathleen Parker is wrong in her May 15 commentary, " "Full-bloodedness' making difference in presidential choice," in the Asbury Park Press. I see three problems, none of which is "multiculturalism."
First, the competition is tough. There are 800 million people in India and 1.3 billion in China. Not all of them are smart, not all of them are aggressive and not all of them are tough. We are outnumbered 7 to 1. They don't all have to be smart, aggressive and tough, but enough of them are.
Second, we've become a nation of welfare queens. We drive our 10 mpg SUVs to the mall where we borrow money to buy junk that doesn't last, junk we are convinced we need, junk that is built by the people from whom we borrow the money, junk for which we'll be paying long after it's thrown into the landfills.
We got soft. We're not all that smart, tough or aggressive anymore.
Third, we trapped our soldiers in a quagmire in the crossfire of a civil war in Iraq. We toppled an evil dictator but our leaders didn't see that in his place would arise a power struggle. This has cost 4,000 American lives, 30,000 arms, hands or legs and $500 billion to $1 trillion, with no end in sight.
I don't know if stupidity, arrogance and incompetance are impeachable, but they should be.
We need to return to our roots, to what president Theodore Roosevelt called "actual life" and "the strenuous life." As he said in Chicago on April 10, 1899, "No country can long endure if its foundations are not laid deep in the material prosperity which comes from thrift, from business energy and enterprise, from hard, unsparing effort in the fields of industrial activity; but neither was any nation ever yet truly great if it relied upon material prosperity alone."
Presidents Theodore Roosevelt, Franklin Roosevelt, Abraham Lincoln and John Kennedy were great leaders of a great nation.
John McCain would lead a nation that looks like him — old, weak, and tired.
Hillary Clinton would lead a nation that was once bright, beautiful and optimistic, that remains ambitious, but has become bitter and disillusioned.
Barack Obama will lead a nation that dares to be bold, that dares to be great.
Saturday, April 19, 2008
Edward R. Murrow or Ed Sullivan?
If you missed the Democratic presidential debate on ABC Wednesday night, Editor & Publisher called it "perhaps the most embarrassing performance by the media in a major presidential debate in years."
Moderators George Stephanopoulos and Charlie Gibson spent the first 50 minutes obsessed with distractions that only political insiders care about--gaffes, polling numbers, the stale Rev. Wright story, and the old-news Bosnia story. And, channeling Karl Rove, they directed a video question to Barack Obama asking if he loves the American flag or not. Seriously!
I want to know what they would do about global warming, Iraq, jobs and the economy, and Israel and the Palestinians. Energy independence, clean energy - solar, wind, kinetic, geothermal. Gas milage.
Actually, I don't watch the 'major networks.' I watch the Daily Show, the Colbert Report, Bill Maher, SNL, The Tonight Show. Maher, Colbert, and Jon Stewart are more like Edward R Murrow than Gibson and Stephanopoulos. They're more like Ed Sullivan. Thank god for NPR and the print media.
I just signed a petition to ABC and other media that says: "Debate moderators abuse the public trust every time they ask trivial questions about gaffes and 'gotchas' that only political insiders care about. Enough with the distractions--ABC and other networks must focus on issues that
affect people's daily lives."
Want to sign it too? We need a bunch of signers for ABC to take this concern seriously.
Click here to sign
Moderators George Stephanopoulos and Charlie Gibson spent the first 50 minutes obsessed with distractions that only political insiders care about--gaffes, polling numbers, the stale Rev. Wright story, and the old-news Bosnia story. And, channeling Karl Rove, they directed a video question to Barack Obama asking if he loves the American flag or not. Seriously!
I want to know what they would do about global warming, Iraq, jobs and the economy, and Israel and the Palestinians. Energy independence, clean energy - solar, wind, kinetic, geothermal. Gas milage.
Actually, I don't watch the 'major networks.' I watch the Daily Show, the Colbert Report, Bill Maher, SNL, The Tonight Show. Maher, Colbert, and Jon Stewart are more like Edward R Murrow than Gibson and Stephanopoulos. They're more like Ed Sullivan. Thank god for NPR and the print media.
I just signed a petition to ABC and other media that says: "Debate moderators abuse the public trust every time they ask trivial questions about gaffes and 'gotchas' that only political insiders care about. Enough with the distractions--ABC and other networks must focus on issues that
affect people's daily lives."
Want to sign it too? We need a bunch of signers for ABC to take this concern seriously.
Click here to sign
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Visions of America
How did we get from Lincoln's vision of "Government of the people, for the people, and by the people."
And Kennedy's "Ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country."
To Reagan's "The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.Ronald Reagan's Legacy
The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help.
- Ronald Reagan
The trouble is, some agencies, like FEMA, SHOULD BE here to help.
Others, like the Air Force, the Army, the Marines, the Navy, the CIA, the FBI, the Justice Department, the EPA, and the FAA, exist to protect the country and the citizens. Whether they are GOOD at it or not is another issue, and it's a management issue. But their purpose is either protective or defensive.
But if you agree with Reagan, as do George W. Bush, his heir, and his older baby brother, his Raoul Castro, John McCain, that 'The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help' how do you justify holding office? Are you're saying 'I'm incompetent!' ? Or are you there with your hand out?
- Ronald Reagan
The trouble is, some agencies, like FEMA, SHOULD BE here to help.
Others, like the Air Force, the Army, the Marines, the Navy, the CIA, the FBI, the Justice Department, the EPA, and the FAA, exist to protect the country and the citizens. Whether they are GOOD at it or not is another issue, and it's a management issue. But their purpose is either protective or defensive.
But if you agree with Reagan, as do George W. Bush, his heir, and his older baby brother, his Raoul Castro, John McCain, that 'The most terrifying words in the English language are: I'm from the government and I'm here to help' how do you justify holding office? Are you're saying 'I'm incompetent!' ? Or are you there with your hand out?
How Many Conservatves Does It Take to Change A Lightbulb?
Eleven -
One to import the bulb from China.
One to hire a Mexican to change the bulb.
One to hire a Private Investigator to check his documents.
One to hire a second Private Investigator to create "official" documents for the Mexican.
One to demand tax cuts for Exxon and the coal, oil, gas and nuclear power industries.
And SIX to blame the Liberals for the high cost of changing lightbulbs.
One to import the bulb from China.
One to hire a Mexican to change the bulb.
One to hire a Private Investigator to check his documents.
One to hire a second Private Investigator to create "official" documents for the Mexican.
One to demand tax cuts for Exxon and the coal, oil, gas and nuclear power industries.
And SIX to blame the Liberals for the high cost of changing lightbulbs.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Southwest and the FAA, Part 2
Cracks in the airplane fusilage - fire the inspectors.
Cracks in the nuclear power plant containment vessel - fire the whistle blower. (google Dennis Zannoni and Oyster Creek)
Refuse to prosecute innocent members of the other party - fire the Prosecutors.
Try to prosecute guilty members of the party in power - fire those Prosecutors, too.
The President lies about stupid affair with young woman from California - fire the President (or try to).
The President lies about war,
The Vice President shoots friend,
The White House identifies CIA Agent,
The President, Vice President, etc break or ignore the law -
So what?
It happens.
Get over it.
What has happened to this country?
"The scariest sentence is 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'"
- Ronald Reagan
Cracks in the nuclear power plant containment vessel - fire the whistle blower. (google Dennis Zannoni and Oyster Creek)
Refuse to prosecute innocent members of the other party - fire the Prosecutors.
Try to prosecute guilty members of the party in power - fire those Prosecutors, too.
The President lies about stupid affair with young woman from California - fire the President (or try to).
The President lies about war,
The Vice President shoots friend,
The White House identifies CIA Agent,
The President, Vice President, etc break or ignore the law -
So what?
It happens.
Get over it.
What has happened to this country?
"The scariest sentence is 'I'm from the government and I'm here to help.'"
- Ronald Reagan
Monday, March 31, 2008
Romney, Bush, Cheney, & McCain
Mitt Romney lost the race for the Republican nomination in part because he appeared to be a flip-flopper. He ran to the left of Ted Kennedy when he lost the race for the Massachusetts Senate. He governed Massachusetts from the center. And like most of the other Republicans, he was running to the right of Bush and Cheney in his bid for the White House. The far right wants the war in Iraq, he wants the war in Iraq. They want war with Iran, he wants war with Iran. They want other peoples sons, daughters, husbands, wives, moms and dads to be sent to fight, he wants other peoples sons, daughters, husbands, wives, moms, dads to be sent to fight, die, or lose arms, legs, minds, and like most 'chicken hawks' he wants his own sons to stay out of the military and "do the best thing they can for the country - help me get elected President." They don't want health care in the US, he doesn't want health care in the US. They want to close factories and ship jobs overseas, he wants to close factories and ship jobs overseas - which is something he did as a management consultant.
But there is no flip-flopping, there is no bowing to the will of the people by Bush, Cheney, or McCain. McCain is for the war. He knows that most people are against the war, and he even said that he would rather be for the war than be President. He will keep us in Iraq for the next 100 years (or until they run out of oil). Still, Bush and Cheney take the cake. When informed that 75% of Americans are now against the war, Cheney's response is "So? (I am in power. Get over it.)"
He has a point. He is in power. We should get over it. ... Or out from under it.
But there is no flip-flopping, there is no bowing to the will of the people by Bush, Cheney, or McCain. McCain is for the war. He knows that most people are against the war, and he even said that he would rather be for the war than be President. He will keep us in Iraq for the next 100 years (or until they run out of oil). Still, Bush and Cheney take the cake. When informed that 75% of Americans are now against the war, Cheney's response is "So? (I am in power. Get over it.)"
He has a point. He is in power. We should get over it. ... Or out from under it.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Bill, Hillary, and Power
One of President Clinton's biggest failings may have been that he tried too hard to please too many people; he tried to win over everyone. When faced with Ken Starr's McCarthyite prosecution (or Stalinist persecution) rather then stand up and say 'This is not a matter of national security and I will invoke my Fourth Amendment right to refuse to answer' he hemmed, hawed, and then said 'It depends on what the meaning of the word 'is' is.'
To her passionate supporters, Senator Hillary Clinton is the best candidate for the job. To her reluctant supporters she is bright, dedicated, and would be a good President who will get us out of Iraq and restore America's economy. To her supporters, both passionate and reluctant, and even to some of her detractors (those who disagree with her politics but who are willing and able to think objectively, which excludes the Fox News - Rush Limbaugh audience) Senator Clinton is bright and articulate. Some critics feel that while she certainly has the right to run, she projects the image that she is entitled to the Presidency. I sincerely believe that she has the best interests of the country at heart, that unlike certain sitting Presidents and Vice Presidents she is not dedicated to lining the pockets of her supporters.
Some people vote for the person they would like to hang out with. Personally I prefer hanging out with my friends and family to high powered lawyers, even slow talking (and slow thinking) lawyers from Texas and Wyoming who shoot their friends in the face, 'out' CIA agents (hello, that's treason), and lead their nations to war. Personally I would love to hang out with the Clintons, watch a game or play a round of golf and talk about power - specifically the clean energy of the 21st Century, and the not-so-clean energy of the 20th Century. I would love to talk about building wind farms, solar farms, geothermal installations, and ocean current turbines, and why we should not be building nuclear and coal plants.
Some don't like Hillary because she's a woman, a lawyer, and very bright. Some feel intimidated by bright women. Some feel that we should have 'good old boys' in the White House, not 'policy wonks.' To them I say, wake up. It's the 21st Century. We need bright decisive people in the White House.
To her passionate supporters, Senator Hillary Clinton is the best candidate for the job. To her reluctant supporters she is bright, dedicated, and would be a good President who will get us out of Iraq and restore America's economy. To her supporters, both passionate and reluctant, and even to some of her detractors (those who disagree with her politics but who are willing and able to think objectively, which excludes the Fox News - Rush Limbaugh audience) Senator Clinton is bright and articulate. Some critics feel that while she certainly has the right to run, she projects the image that she is entitled to the Presidency. I sincerely believe that she has the best interests of the country at heart, that unlike certain sitting Presidents and Vice Presidents she is not dedicated to lining the pockets of her supporters.
Some people vote for the person they would like to hang out with. Personally I prefer hanging out with my friends and family to high powered lawyers, even slow talking (and slow thinking) lawyers from Texas and Wyoming who shoot their friends in the face, 'out' CIA agents (hello, that's treason), and lead their nations to war. Personally I would love to hang out with the Clintons, watch a game or play a round of golf and talk about power - specifically the clean energy of the 21st Century, and the not-so-clean energy of the 20th Century. I would love to talk about building wind farms, solar farms, geothermal installations, and ocean current turbines, and why we should not be building nuclear and coal plants.
Some don't like Hillary because she's a woman, a lawyer, and very bright. Some feel intimidated by bright women. Some feel that we should have 'good old boys' in the White House, not 'policy wonks.' To them I say, wake up. It's the 21st Century. We need bright decisive people in the White House.
From The Mind Of Hillary Clinton
Comedy Central is proud bring you the Mind of Mencia, and the Furman Files is proud to bring you the Mind of Hillary Clinton. Just like Senator Bill Frist, who can diagnose comatose patients just by looking at them on TV for a few seconds, I am proud to say that I am able to read the mind of candidates with comatose campaigns, just by listening to them talk on TV or radio – or even by reading what they say. 'Amazing!' you're thinking. See, I knew that. And here's what Hillary really was thinking.
"Bill once said 'It depends on what the meaning of ‘is’ is.' I wouldn't say that, altho as a lawyer, I know what it means. Now we Democrats, even conservative Democrats like me, know the value of historic facts, of the reality based facts. We also know that you also have to consider the context of any 'fact' and how to frame it in a campaign. You might call them the campaign centric facts. And this is where the Democrats differ from the Republicans. We, Democrats, believe in historic facts AND campaign facts. Republicans only believe in campaign facts. Campaign Facts.
"So this is what happened back in the mid-1990's in Bosnia. There were children on the tarmac in Bosnia, and they could have been providing cover for snipers, snipers who were children once, and those children on the tarmac could have been planning on growing up to be snipers. And for me, it was an exercise in preparation for this run for the White House, so while I was standing there, I was also running, I was, in one sense, sprinting. Yeah, that's the ticket. I was sprinting for the White House.
"So while you could say I mis-spoke, you must remember I’m running a cynical campaign based on fear and pessimism not silly dreams like hope and optimism. Fear and pessimism are the hopes of the future. Our only hope lies in fear. I think Dick Cheney said that. And it worked against John Kerry.
"Our only hope lies in fear. And in me. Our only hope lies in me. I am entitled to this job, and damn-it, I deserve it. Look at that brainless idiot in the White House. And the old man on the other side, my 'good friend' John McCain. He's still fighting the Viet Nam War. And Obama - what does he know? He speaks well, he writes well, he's bright, people trust him. Well there's more to leadership than that. There's more to leadership than being a bright, tough, honest, decisive and articulate visionary. There's being tough when you want to cry. And crying when you want to be tough. I can't see Obama crying. There's forcing people to do your will when they think you're wrong and you yourself have doubts. So vote for me. You may regret it, but you'll regret it less with me than with McCain or Obama.
"McCain is still fighting the Viet Nam war. It was a dumb idea in the 1960s, and it's a dumb idea today. And they make good sneakers in Viet Nam. And Obama ... Barack means 'lightning' in Hebrew, and he sure does throw lightning bolts when he speaks. Still, every time I look at his supporters I want to cry. They have such high expectations for him, they will be very disappointed in anything that goes wrong. And the Republicans in Washington, they will do everything they can to make him fail. They'll criticize his wife, his pastor. They'll make fun of his name. They'll send in silly little girls willing to do anything, and I mean anything, to make him happy. Men. They're so dumb. But they can be useful ... even fun to have around ... when they do what I want them to do, not when they get in my way."
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