Brittney, LiLo, Snookie, Ann, Sarah, and W.

Brittney Spears, like Lindsay Lohan, really cares about America, and humanity, particularly young women, young girls - their fan bases. Like Nicole "Snookie" Polozzi their "antics" are a carefully thought out existential drama designed to show girls and young women, their mothers, fathers and brothers, especially those in lower socio-economic strata - all of us - that wealth doesn't buy happiness, that no matter how much money you have, you still have to wrestle with intoxicants, people who don't want to share, men who treat you as sex objects . . . . How else do you explain Brittney's famous act of performance art in emerging from a cab in a short skirt hiked up to her waist, with her panties carefully concealed?

Like other visionary women, they are misunderstood. Ann Coulter - at first glance you would think she personally hates Bill Clinton, Hillary Clinton, and Meghan McCain. However, if you look beneath the surface you might find a coke-whore who secretly wants to have Bill's baby, McCain's baby, or Hillary's baby, but knowing this is impossible, masks her tragedy in addiction, anger, and best selling rants and diatribes.

Or Sarah Palin. The former Governor who earned $13 Million in speaking fees may be the barely educated former governor of a state who's population is about the same as Monmouth County, New Jersey, or Bensonhurst, Sheepshead Bay, and Coney Island, Brooklyn. She may be the former mayor of a town with a population about the size of an apartment building in the Bronx or on the Upper East Side of Manhattan. But she challenges our assumptions about what it means to be coherent. She recently said "those protesters in Egypt, I don't know if they are telling the truth." While I realize she said that while walking AND chewing gum, what are the protesters saying? They seem to be saying "We want Mubarek out of office." But that phrase is so wrought with ambiguity - do they want to take him out for drinks? (Well, not the Moslem Brotherhood). How about a nice lunch of roasted lamb with rice and tea? Maybe they want him out of his office so they can paint it? Regardless, she challenges our assumption that the office of the President of the United States should be held by someone who can think deeply, and make decisions based on rational assessment of the facts and scientifically observable data. After all, W held it for 8 years, 8 long years during which we lurched from one catastrophic decision to the next as if passengers in a bus driven by a nearsighted drunk on magic mushrooms. How hard can it be?

Good News, From a Marxist - Trotskyite Perspective, About the Whale Hunts.

Hunting whales for food violates international law (WSPA, National Geographic). It's illegal. Iceland and Norway ignore the ban. The Japanese claim to adhere to it by claiming to hunt whales for "scientific" reasearch. After the experiments are complete, they eat the subjects. The experiments seem to be in methods of killing and butchering whales. But here's a news flash - scientists don't eat the dogs, cats, chimps, rats, and fruit flies on they which they experiment. Systematic "scientific" study of different recipies is not permitted by the treaties that ban commercial whaling. The Inuit, Pacific Coast Native Americans and aboriginal Icelanders claim it's their culture. This may be true, however, as Captain Paul Watson, of the Sea Shepherd Conservation Society has observed, their traditional culture includes neither modern factory ships, nor commercial sales of whale meat to the Japanese.

But there is good news, at least from a Marxist - Trotskyite perspective, about the Whale Hunts.

Mercury causes brain damage - which is why I don't eat tuna.

PCB's disrupt endocrine function - which is why I am giving up all fish. And I would go hungry rather than eat whale meat.

Eating whale meat is like eat rats that have been killed with rat poison. Not a good idea.

The "good" news is that whale meat is so full of mercury, PCB's, and other toxins (Informaworld, Human Health Significance of Organocholorine and Mercury Contaminants in Japanese Whale Meat, Simmonds, Haraguchi, et al, Journal of Toxicology and Environmental Health) that it will kill the whale eaters, perhaps before they kill all the whales. Maybe the real question the Japanese "Scientists" are answering is "Which will happen first: epidemic Parkinson's in Japan or Extinction of the Whales?"

Maybe this explains Lou Dobbs' nonsensical rants about Obama's birth. Maybe Lou Dobbs is not a racist, maybe he has eaten so much tuna and whale meat that he has mercury poisoning. And maybe it explains George W. Bush, Norm Coleman, Anne Coulter, Larry Craig, Bobby Jindal, Rush Limbaugh, Sarah Palin, Michael Steele, and all the rest. Maybe they've eaten so much whale meat, tuna, and mercury laden caviar that they have Minamata Disease - mercury poisoning. After all, they are as mad as hatters.

What do you think?

Hurricane Gustave and the Grand Old Republican Party

It's one thing - and the right thing - to cancel "festive" events in the face of natural disaster. However, rather than cancel the speeches, the Republicans should present their vision of how the government should respond in a crisis. The silence is deafening.

As Franklin D. Roosevelt put it, "the nation looked to the government and the government looked away." The Republican vision, FDR said, is "that government is best which is most indifferent." Just as he described the Republicans of the 1920's - those who kicked Teddy Roosevelt out of the GOP, he describes the. Republicans of the 1980's, the 1990's, and today. Not all, just the ones at the top of the party; both stalwarts and mavericks.

The Democrats have a different vision. As FDR put it: government that guarantees
Freedom of speech and assembly.
Freedom to pray (or to not).
Freedom from fear.
Freedom from want.

In more prosaic terms: defend the Constitution, build a healthy economy, preserve a clean natural environment, maintain a strong and effective national security infrastructure, and an effective emergency response team.

The Monica Effect

Dateline August 8. The Ivory Towers of Academia. "Those who don't learn from history," it is said, "are doomed to repeat it." The tendency of history to repeat itself is well known, but not well understood. Considering the roles played by women named Monica in the Administrations of current and recent U. S. Presidents, specifically, the role that Monica Goodling played in the Bush Administration, the Justice Department, and the United States of America, and the role Monica Lewinsky played in the Clinton Administration, the White House, and the good ole USA, I have prepared a scorecard that compares the two Monicas; Goodling and Lewinsky. Dubbed "The Monica Effect," this phenomena, while perhaps trivial and admittedly hard to swallow, must be studied.

Monica Lewinsky: willing to do anything, Anything! for The President.
Monica Goodling: willing to do anything, Anything! for The President.

Monica Lewinsky: Bimbo, certified in many bars, worshipped The President. Still does.
Monica Goodling: Attorney, admitted to The Bar, worshipped The President. Still does.

Monica Lewinsky: Didn't know anything about the Constitution. Didn't need to.
Monica Goodling: Didn't know anything about the Constitution. Didn't want to. Altho she was an attorney.

Monica Lewinsky: wore a blue dress for a private meeting with the President in the White House.
Monica Goodling: wore a white dress for dinner with Karl Rove and a blue suit for public testimony with Congress in The House.

Monica Lewinsky: was there when The President violated his sacred vows of marriage.
Monica Goodling: was there when The President violated his sacred oath of office.

Monica Lewinsky: dismissed by The President before he got caught.
Monica Goodling: dismissed by The President after she got caught.

Monica Lewinsky: broke no law but violated the rules of decorum and good taste.
Monica Goodling: broke the law and violated the Constitution of United States.

Monica Lewinsky: stimulated the President's breaking the law by committing perjury.
Monica Goodling: allowed the President's appearing to obey the law by preserving his deniability.

Monica Lewinsky: not pardoned by The President because she committed no crimes.
Monica Goodling: in line to be pardoned by The President because she "may" have committed crimes.

Monica Lewinsky: helped George W. Bush get elected as he boasted of integrity during his campaign, and as Al Gore distanced himself from the President.

Monica Goodling: may help Barack Obama get elected as he campaigns on "Change We Can Believe In" and as McCain distances himself from the President.


* This is a work of satire. Obama is a Professor of Constitutional Law who has demonstrated organizational skills, management expertise, and good judgment. McCain is a career politician who claims to be an independent minded "maverick" but who has voted with the Administration 97% of the time. Who would make a better President? From whom would you buy a used car?