McCain Thanks the Clintons

I traveled to an alternate universe, and heard candidate John McCain thank former President Bill Clinton and Senator Hillary Clinton for their 'left handed' endorsement of his candidacy. At a campaign fundraiser for 'Liberals who don't trust Clinton' McCain said:

"We wish to thank former President Bill Clinton, and Senator Hillary Clinton, for their support, however, we wish to point out that we are the only candidate really capable of being Commander-in-Chief. We feel that WE are the man for the job.

"Obama may be young, bright, and eloquent, and he may really understand the problems of today and the solutions that will position us in the future, but since he is about half our age, and he talks in the first person, not the third person, and most important since this is our last chance for the Presidency, we feel that Obama is not the man for the job.

"While she is closer to us in age, and less comfortable in front of crowds, and need I say it, female, we also feel that Hillary Clinton isn't the man for the job.

"And as for the difference between Sunnis and Shiites, who cares? We can't tell the difference. It's like the difference between the North Vietnamese and South Vietnamese, or the Vietnamese, the Chinese, the Koreans, and the Japs. They claim there's a difference, they may be able to tell the difference, but who really cares?"

Bush Care / McCain Care - Health Care For Patriots

It's not that one in six Americans don't have health care, it's just that they don't have health insurance. And if 1 out of 6 don't have health insurance that means 5 in 6 people DO have Health Insurance.

Bush and McCain have a national health care plan - The Emergency Room. The way you can see a doctor on BushCare / McCainCare when you have diabetes is when you're in a diabetic coma. And if you have high blood pressure you can see an emergency room physician for primary care immediately - following a stroke or heart attack.

This shows America's wealth. Why go to a physician for a $50 office visit when you can go to an Emergency Room - at 10 times the cost? Or 100 times the cost? You may see it as spending $5,000 - enough for a good used car - or $500, rather then $50, but what's money when your life is at stake? And if the choice is health care, medication, or food, well, you're probably overweight - that's how you got diabetes or high blood pressure anyway (it's really your fault).

And remember, treatment and medication are elements of GNP. So if you have diabetes wait until you're in a diabetic coma. It's your patriotic duty. If you have high blood pressure, wait until you have a stroke. Your treatment will cost $50,000. That adds $50,000 to the GNP. It's what you can do to fight the war on terror. Like voting for the GOP. Pre-emptive care would only add $200 or $1,000 to the GNP. What's more important? Our nation's GNP or your health? It's a no-brainer. If you're a true patriot it's GNP! Especially if you're a wealthy patriot and can afford a doctor. Or can go to Canada for health care. And if a worker drops dead, the general health of the remainder of the population improves.

Remember - what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger. And by that logic, America is stronger today than it ever would have been if Gore had been given the White House in 2000 or if Kerry had won in 2004.

Flip Flopping Today

New York. Paul Simon was asked to release a new version of “Slip Sliding Away,” to be called “Flip Flopping Today.” The call came from the Giuliani Campaign, and came for the McCain Campaign. Or maybe it came for the Giuliani Campaign but came from the McCain Campaign. Or from the Romney Campaign for Giuliani and McCain. It is not, however, a dirty trick. Each candidate knows that the other guys lack credibility. But they want their party to win, so to be kinder, gentler, and compassionater, the new Republicanistas are trying to help each other. “Flip Flopping Today” applies equally to the three Republican runners up for 'Panderer-in-Chief' so whoever wins the GOP nomination next year will be able to use it.

And it’s official, the two wings of the GOP are the “We are Winning in Iraq, and We Will Continue to be Winning Until We Win, Even if it Takes 50 Years” wing,” and the “Faith Based; Believe in the God of Love and Peace and Be Ready to Kill Anyone Who Doesn’t” wing.

Republicanista strategists are also thinking of changing their name. They want to change it from ‘Grand Old Party,’ GOP, to “Grand Obtuse Old Party,” GOOP. It's a synonym for what they got us into in Iraq. But no one in the party leadership understands the meaning of obtuse. When critics say ‘You’re so obtuse.’ They smile, lean back, and say “Thanks.” Sometimes they say “Well, my daughter’s a lesbian. But she’s a good girl. Wants to be a good wife and mother. It’s those damn liberals. And no, there’s nothing wrong with your boy being a dancer. As long as he’s not a liberal. Look at George W. A cheerleader at Yale for Chris-sake. Maybe we could hook your boy up with my daughter.”

On Larry King Live, Giuliani said "I support a woman's right to choose but I am against abortion." Exactly what “woman’s right to choose” is he supporting? A woman’s right to choose her outfit? A woman's right to choose a bathing suit? Call me a misogynist, but while I support abortion rights, I believe that fat chicks over 55 should not be allowed to wear bikinis or thongs, and should be prohibited from topless beaches.

Giuliani also supports "protecting gays" but not domestic partnerships. Who is he protecting them from? Straight people with baseball bats? “Christians” who want to cure them with drugs and shock therapy? Or guys like Ted Haggard who say “I’m not gay, I just like to ‘study’ gay sex with prostitutes while I do drugs. So I know what I'm up against.” Haggard may not be gay any more, but he’s not gay any less. I agree with Rudy that gay people should have equal protection under the law. But I think that means marriage and domestic partnerships. Look at the bright side. If gay people can get married then they will be able to get divorced. If they get divorced at the same rate that straight people get divorced, then half of the gay marriages will be over almost as soon as they begin.

Giuliani supports gun control in cities like New York but not places like Texas. Doesn’t he know that as more Texans get guns, more Texans will kill each other with those guns? Or is that his point?

Romney used to be "Pro-Choice." Today he's "pro-choice" in the Blue states and "anti-women" in Dixie. McCain used to ride the "straight-talk" express. Now he panders to the Evangelicals. He was against the use of torture until Cheney invited him on a hunting trip. That Cheney can be mighty persuasive.

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Giuliani on Larry King Live: http://www.cnn.com/2007/POLITICS/02/14/giuliani.lkl/index.htm
Romney on abortion: Committed to safe legal abortion, except when running for office.
http://www.ontheissues.org/Governor/Mitt_Romney_Abortion.htm