Dateline August 8. The Ivory Towers of Academia. "Those who don't learn from history," it is said, "are doomed to repeat it." The tendency of history to repeat itself is well known, but not well understood. Considering the roles played by women named Monica in the Administrations of current and recent U. S. Presidents, specifically, the role that Monica Goodling played in the Bush Administration, the Justice Department, and the United States of America, and the role Monica Lewinsky played in the Clinton Administration, the White House, and the good ole USA, I have prepared a scorecard that compares the two Monicas; Goodling and Lewinsky. Dubbed "The Monica Effect," this phenomena, while perhaps trivial and admittedly hard to swallow, must be studied.
Monica Lewinsky: willing to do anything, Anything! for The President.
Monica Goodling: willing to do anything, Anything! for The President.
Monica Lewinsky: Bimbo, certified in many bars, worshipped The President. Still does.
Monica Goodling: Attorney, admitted to The Bar, worshipped The President. Still does.
Monica Lewinsky: Didn't know anything about the Constitution. Didn't need to.
Monica Goodling: Didn't know anything about the Constitution. Didn't want to. Altho she was an attorney.
Monica Lewinsky: wore a blue dress for a private meeting with the President in the White House.
Monica Goodling: wore a white dress for dinner with Karl Rove and a blue suit for public testimony with Congress in The House.
Monica Lewinsky: was there when The President violated his sacred vows of marriage.
Monica Goodling: was there when The President violated his sacred oath of office.
Monica Lewinsky: dismissed by The President before he got caught.
Monica Goodling: dismissed by The President after she got caught.
Monica Lewinsky: broke no law but violated the rules of decorum and good taste.
Monica Goodling: broke the law and violated the Constitution of United States.
Monica Lewinsky: stimulated the President's breaking the law by committing perjury.
Monica Goodling: allowed the President's appearing to obey the law by preserving his deniability.
Monica Lewinsky: not pardoned by The President because she committed no crimes.
Monica Goodling: in line to be pardoned by The President because she "may" have committed crimes.
Monica Lewinsky: helped George W. Bush get elected as he boasted of integrity during his campaign, and as Al Gore distanced himself from the President.
Monica Goodling: may help Barack Obama get elected as he campaigns on "Change We Can Believe In" and as McCain distances himself from the President.
* This is a work of satire. Obama is a Professor of Constitutional Law who has demonstrated organizational skills, management expertise, and good judgment. McCain is a career politician who claims to be an independent minded "maverick" but who has voted with the Administration 97% of the time. Who would make a better President? From whom would you buy a used car?
Tuesday, August 5, 2008
Thursday, July 31, 2008
The Nero's Fiddle Award Goes To - John McCain
This week's coveted Nero's Fiddle Award goes to John "W" McCain for the ad in which he compares Barack Obama to Paris Hilton and Brittney Spears. (I think Ms. Hilton does a great job of marketing herself and her "brand" and Ms. Spears has a splendid voice and looks good in her costumes, but with all due respect, neither have gone to Columbia and Harvard Law, at least not yet.)
It was a no-brainer - awarding the award - because the ad shows that McCain and his staff have no brains. First of all, Rick Hilton, Paris Hilton's daddy, was a McCain supporter - one of the few. So was his wife, Paris' mom, Cathy Hilton. And so was Brittney Spears. (And I understand that the endorsement from Brittney meant a lot to McCain - or at least Cindy McCain. I think John McCain enjoyed the rock videos. What 72 year old guy wouldn't enjoy Brittney Spears' rock videos?)
Still, this is great news for Chihuahua breeders. It's a lot easier for Obama's famous fans to emulate Obama by buying a Chihuahua then by attending and graduating Columbia University and Harvard Law, by editing the Harvard Law Review, then teaching Constitutional Law, and then running and winning an honorable campaign to the U. S. Senate.
The Chihuahua option is cheaper too. You don't need an education to buy a Chihuahua, you don't even need much intelligence; you just need a pooper scooper - which is something you can get from the McCain campaign.
You need intelligence and an education to even go to Columbia and Harvard Law - which is something you can't get from the McCain campaign.
This may backfire on the McCain-ista. The people who love and respect Paris Hilton and Brittney Spears, may actually register to vote and vote for Obama. Ask Rick, Cathy, and Paris Hilton how they feel.
I hope it doesn't backfire on the McCain-ista. I'll have nothing to write about. On the other hand, if Obama wins and the economy improves, I'll be too busy working and planning my investments to crack wise on this blog.
It was a no-brainer - awarding the award - because the ad shows that McCain and his staff have no brains. First of all, Rick Hilton, Paris Hilton's daddy, was a McCain supporter - one of the few. So was his wife, Paris' mom, Cathy Hilton. And so was Brittney Spears. (And I understand that the endorsement from Brittney meant a lot to McCain - or at least Cindy McCain. I think John McCain enjoyed the rock videos. What 72 year old guy wouldn't enjoy Brittney Spears' rock videos?)
Still, this is great news for Chihuahua breeders. It's a lot easier for Obama's famous fans to emulate Obama by buying a Chihuahua then by attending and graduating Columbia University and Harvard Law, by editing the Harvard Law Review, then teaching Constitutional Law, and then running and winning an honorable campaign to the U. S. Senate.
The Chihuahua option is cheaper too. You don't need an education to buy a Chihuahua, you don't even need much intelligence; you just need a pooper scooper - which is something you can get from the McCain campaign.
You need intelligence and an education to even go to Columbia and Harvard Law - which is something you can't get from the McCain campaign.
This may backfire on the McCain-ista. The people who love and respect Paris Hilton and Brittney Spears, may actually register to vote and vote for Obama. Ask Rick, Cathy, and Paris Hilton how they feel.
I hope it doesn't backfire on the McCain-ista. I'll have nothing to write about. On the other hand, if Obama wins and the economy improves, I'll be too busy working and planning my investments to crack wise on this blog.
My Prediction - McCain - By $100 Million
Senator John McCain is worth about $100,000,000 - assuming his wife dies and he inherits her fortune. Therefore he has a lot of money to spend becoming President. But he doesn't have to spend it all. Traditionally, we Americans pick the dumb guy, so he's a shoe in.
Think about it - in 2000 there were two Viet Nam veterans, Gore and McCain, and a draft-dodger, Bush. We elected the draft dodger. While he lost the popular vote, he won by 5-4 in the Supreme Court.
Again in 2004, there was one Viet Nam veteran and a draft dodger. Again we elected the draft dodger - and this time he actually won the popular vote (altho that may have been because certain people were excluded from voting in Ohio).
So today the election is between the Navy Pilot who lost 5 planes, including the one in which he was shot down, and the Harvard Law alum who edited the Harvard Law Review and went on to teach Constitutional Law, became a State Senator, then a United States Senator. You might think that having a President who actually understands and respects the Constitution would be a good idea, but, education is so old fashioned, no one's educated today. President Bush ignores the Constitution, and the way the Republicanista have stacked the courts pretty soon no one will have the right to sue any corporation so what's the point in knowing the law or the Constitution?
But we'll always have Paris. Maybe she'll run for President.
Think about it - in 2000 there were two Viet Nam veterans, Gore and McCain, and a draft-dodger, Bush. We elected the draft dodger. While he lost the popular vote, he won by 5-4 in the Supreme Court.
Again in 2004, there was one Viet Nam veteran and a draft dodger. Again we elected the draft dodger - and this time he actually won the popular vote (altho that may have been because certain people were excluded from voting in Ohio).
So today the election is between the Navy Pilot who lost 5 planes, including the one in which he was shot down, and the Harvard Law alum who edited the Harvard Law Review and went on to teach Constitutional Law, became a State Senator, then a United States Senator. You might think that having a President who actually understands and respects the Constitution would be a good idea, but, education is so old fashioned, no one's educated today. President Bush ignores the Constitution, and the way the Republicanista have stacked the courts pretty soon no one will have the right to sue any corporation so what's the point in knowing the law or the Constitution?
But we'll always have Paris. Maybe she'll run for President.
Thursday, July 17, 2008
Homer Simpson on Due Process
I think Homer Simpson said:
'All men are created equal' means 'The poor guy, accused of murder, has the same right to a "fair" trial before being executed as the rich guy who paid him to bump off Mrs. Rich Guy.'
'All men are created equal' means 'The poor guy, accused of murder, has the same right to a "fair" trial before being executed as the rich guy who paid him to bump off Mrs. Rich Guy.'
Monday, July 14, 2008
The Coveted Nero's Fiddle Award goes to PHIL GRAMM
Phil Gramm's statements that the United States is in a "mental recession" and that we are a "nation of whiners" earned him the coveted "Nero's Fiddle" award. The award, which is redeemable in cash, unmarked bills, or in deposits to a certain Swiss bank account, keeps the recession in the mind but out of the pockets of this so-called "whiner."
While it doesn't have the cachet of Marie Antoinette's "Let them eat cake," or Donald Rumsfeld's "you go to war with the army you have," Gramm's statements are succinct, eloquent, and clear.
They also show that Gramm, who serves as McCain Campaign co-chair, and cice chair of investment bank UBS, and who is referred to as "McCain's Econ Brain" understands exactly what most Americans are going thru, despite the facts of the personal wealth that he and his wife Wendy Gramm enjoy. Gramm understands the problems on Wall Street. UBS, which he is "Vice Chair" has declined in value to 2002 levels in the last year.
He also knows about energy costs. According to Jason Leopold, writing in the Baltimore Chronicle & Sentinel, "Gramm, as a powerful Texas senator in 2000, slipped an Enron-backed provision into the Commodities Futures Modernization Act that exempted from regulation energy trading on electronic platforms. Then, over the next year, Enron – with Gramm's wife Wendy serving on its board of directors – worked to create false electricity shortages in California, bilking consumers out of an estimated $40 billion."
It is not currently known who is worth more, Gramm, or McCain. The Presumptive Republican nominee is worth an estimated $50 million. (If Arizona is a community property state and Cindy McCain were to dump him for someone younger, he would get $50 million.) Gramm, on the other hand and as noted, is Vice Chairman of UBS.
While it doesn't have the cachet of Marie Antoinette's "Let them eat cake," or Donald Rumsfeld's "you go to war with the army you have," Gramm's statements are succinct, eloquent, and clear.
They also show that Gramm, who serves as McCain Campaign co-chair, and cice chair of investment bank UBS, and who is referred to as "McCain's Econ Brain" understands exactly what most Americans are going thru, despite the facts of the personal wealth that he and his wife Wendy Gramm enjoy. Gramm understands the problems on Wall Street. UBS, which he is "Vice Chair" has declined in value to 2002 levels in the last year.
He also knows about energy costs. According to Jason Leopold, writing in the Baltimore Chronicle & Sentinel, "Gramm, as a powerful Texas senator in 2000, slipped an Enron-backed provision into the Commodities Futures Modernization Act that exempted from regulation energy trading on electronic platforms. Then, over the next year, Enron – with Gramm's wife Wendy serving on its board of directors – worked to create false electricity shortages in California, bilking consumers out of an estimated $40 billion."
It is not currently known who is worth more, Gramm, or McCain. The Presumptive Republican nominee is worth an estimated $50 million. (If Arizona is a community property state and Cindy McCain were to dump him for someone younger, he would get $50 million.) Gramm, on the other hand and as noted, is Vice Chairman of UBS.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Ten Ways to Become Rich and Powerful, by George W. Bush
Ten Ways to be rich, powerful, and successful: It's not hard; I did it. by George W Bush.
1. Have a daddy who's President. It's not hard. I did it.
2. Have a grand-daddy who's a Senator and a banker with a big New York City Investment Bank. It's not hard. I did it.
3. Go to
4. Go to
5. Join the National Guard, Learn to fly jet fighters. Then skip town to work on political campaigns and have your daddy erase the records. It's not hard. I did it.
6. Go into the oil business. It's not hard. I did it.
7. Buy a baseball team. It's not hard. I did it.
8. Become Governor of a state. It's not hard. I did it.
9. Become President of the
10. Start a war. It's not hard. I did it.
Yep, these is 10 ways to become rich, powerful. They're not hard. I did it. Fact, I did all 10.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Dear Hillary, Thank You
You and Barack fought tough campaigns, grounded in reality and hard work. You and Barack received a tremendous number of votes - more votes in the Primaries than FDR received in the General Elections when he beat Herbert Hoover and Alf Landon in the landslides of 1932 and 1936 and more than John Kennedy received in the General Election when he beat Nixon in 1960.
Could you have won the nomination? Could you have won the White House? Yes, I am proud to say. It's not about gender and it’s not about skin color. It's as Martin Luther King dreamed - it's about ideas. And it's about us. All of us. Male, female, white, black, brown, red, yellow, and green - especially Green. Buddhist, Christian, Hindu, Jewish, Moslem, agnostic, and atheist; Native American, and immigrants; whether we came four years ago, or our forbears came 400 years ago, whether they sailed on the Mayflower, or they walked across a land bridge over what is today the Bering Sea.
Obama has won the delegates he needs to be the nominee and we, progressives, moderates, and conservatives, we the people, your supporters and Barack's, our children, and our parents; we need to help Barack win the White House. We must win. Whether by a slim majority like the 112,827 votes with which John Kennedy beat Nixon, or by a landslide like the 12 million votes and 42 states with which FDR clobbered Hoover in 1932. We must win. Not at any cost but because the cost is so high. We need to prevent McCain from serving "Bush's Third Term." Because McCain, like Bush, will serve the country to the special interests.
We must win the states you won - New York, New Jersey, California. We must win the states Barack won - Iowa, Illinois, and Hawaii. We must win the battlegrounds like Florida, Pennsylvania, and Ohio. We don't need to win all 50 states. But we need to win by a majority large enough so that the Republicans can't steal the election - again. We need to carry enough seats in the House and Senate so the Republicans can't stop the policy initiatives we must push thru to rebuild this country. And we must rebuild so we can compete today in the 21st Century.
We must rebuild the schools, roads, railroads and factories. We must redesign the education systems and business models. We must redesign and rebuild the safety net Roosevelt, Kennedy and Johnson worked so long and so hard to build; the safety net Hoover couldn't conceive; the safety net Bush, Cheney and McCain can't abide.
We need to win where there are people who go to college, people who went to college, and people who can't afford college; people with health insurance and those who can't afford it and thus who don't have access to health care - 1 out of 6 of us - and Earth to George W. Bush and John 'W' McCain - the emergency room is for emergencies; it is not for primary care. We need to win because people are struggling to pay their bills and have to choose between food, medication, fuel, and rent.
I would love to see you as the Vice President. And I would really love to see you in the Senate for the next twenty years - in the Senate giving the Republicans a measure of what they have given us. I would love to see Bill Clinton the Ambassador to the United Nations fighting for the New American Dream - fighting for all the children of this Bush-whacked world.
So, Hillary, lead your followers from this Bush-whacked country. Campaign for Barack and for America, and ask Bill and Chelsea to do the same. Then go back to the Senate and whip Joe Lieberman into line. And Arlen Specter, Orrin Hatch, John "W" McCain and all the rest. They are stupid, pompous and arrogant - like Santorum claiming to diagnose Terri Schiavo - over TV. And Larry Craig claiming 'I'm not gay (I just fool around with guys)'. Give no quarter. Destroy Norquist the Traitor - before he destroys the country. Put them into place - out of the closet and into retirement. And if they are so aghast at government spending take away their pensions. Filibuster them into submission. Torment the so-called moderate Republicans and the hard line "Republicanista" who put Party ahead of Country, who make policy via lobbyist, who rant and rave against drugs and homosexuality and then go buy drugs and solicit gay prostitutes, who savaged George H. W. Bush for daring to raise taxes to pay for government programs, who tried to destroy your husband, these ‘chicken-hawks’ who send young people to war then take away their veterans benefits and health care. They should be ashamed of themselves. But they have no shame. They have no honor. They have only greed and false pride and arrogance.
Dare to be great. With Honor.
Could you have won the nomination? Could you have won the White House? Yes, I am proud to say. It's not about gender and it’s not about skin color. It's as Martin Luther King dreamed - it's about ideas. And it's about us. All of us. Male, female, white, black, brown, red, yellow, and green - especially Green. Buddhist, Christian, Hindu, Jewish, Moslem, agnostic, and atheist; Native American, and immigrants; whether we came four years ago, or our forbears came 400 years ago, whether they sailed on the Mayflower, or they walked across a land bridge over what is today the Bering Sea.
Obama has won the delegates he needs to be the nominee and we, progressives, moderates, and conservatives, we the people, your supporters and Barack's, our children, and our parents; we need to help Barack win the White House. We must win. Whether by a slim majority like the 112,827 votes with which John Kennedy beat Nixon, or by a landslide like the 12 million votes and 42 states with which FDR clobbered Hoover in 1932. We must win. Not at any cost but because the cost is so high. We need to prevent McCain from serving "Bush's Third Term." Because McCain, like Bush, will serve the country to the special interests.
We must win the states you won - New York, New Jersey, California. We must win the states Barack won - Iowa, Illinois, and Hawaii. We must win the battlegrounds like Florida, Pennsylvania, and Ohio. We don't need to win all 50 states. But we need to win by a majority large enough so that the Republicans can't steal the election - again. We need to carry enough seats in the House and Senate so the Republicans can't stop the policy initiatives we must push thru to rebuild this country. And we must rebuild so we can compete today in the 21st Century.
We must rebuild the schools, roads, railroads and factories. We must redesign the education systems and business models. We must redesign and rebuild the safety net Roosevelt, Kennedy and Johnson worked so long and so hard to build; the safety net Hoover couldn't conceive; the safety net Bush, Cheney and McCain can't abide.
We need to win where there are people who go to college, people who went to college, and people who can't afford college; people with health insurance and those who can't afford it and thus who don't have access to health care - 1 out of 6 of us - and Earth to George W. Bush and John 'W' McCain - the emergency room is for emergencies; it is not for primary care. We need to win because people are struggling to pay their bills and have to choose between food, medication, fuel, and rent.
I would love to see you as the Vice President. And I would really love to see you in the Senate for the next twenty years - in the Senate giving the Republicans a measure of what they have given us. I would love to see Bill Clinton the Ambassador to the United Nations fighting for the New American Dream - fighting for all the children of this Bush-whacked world.
So, Hillary, lead your followers from this Bush-whacked country. Campaign for Barack and for America, and ask Bill and Chelsea to do the same. Then go back to the Senate and whip Joe Lieberman into line. And Arlen Specter, Orrin Hatch, John "W" McCain and all the rest. They are stupid, pompous and arrogant - like Santorum claiming to diagnose Terri Schiavo - over TV. And Larry Craig claiming 'I'm not gay (I just fool around with guys)'. Give no quarter. Destroy Norquist the Traitor - before he destroys the country. Put them into place - out of the closet and into retirement. And if they are so aghast at government spending take away their pensions. Filibuster them into submission. Torment the so-called moderate Republicans and the hard line "Republicanista" who put Party ahead of Country, who make policy via lobbyist, who rant and rave against drugs and homosexuality and then go buy drugs and solicit gay prostitutes, who savaged George H. W. Bush for daring to raise taxes to pay for government programs, who tried to destroy your husband, these ‘chicken-hawks’ who send young people to war then take away their veterans benefits and health care. They should be ashamed of themselves. But they have no shame. They have no honor. They have only greed and false pride and arrogance.
Dare to be great. With Honor.
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